Red Wings sign Abdelkader, Colaiacovo (Yahoo! Sports)
2012
How to explain NHL lockout to your non-hockey friends: Puck Daddy’s Guide
2012
The National Hockey League is expected to lock out its players (again) this weekend, leaving hockey fans (again) to cope without their favorite sport, life distraction and quasi-religion for an indeterminable amount of time.
Some will seek the insulated comfort of their hockey cliques, circling the wagons with likeminded individuals to debate Hall of Fame credentials and reminisce about those halcyon days when the NHL could literally go eight or nine years (!) without a work stoppage.
Others will attempt to — gulp — engage non-hockey fans in conversation.
Some of these poor souls, that have yet to let the light of Hockey Jesus shine on their hearts, will no doubt wonder why this work stoppage happened, and ask a serious of uninformed and inane questions about it.
Your friends at Puck Daddy — in this case Wysh, Harrison Mooney and Ryan Lambert — have created this handy guide to navigating one such sphincter-clenching conversation with a hockey n00b.
Here is Puck Daddy's Guide To Explaining The NHL Lockout To Your Non-Hockey Friends, which is roughly 1,000-times more applicable to our American readers than our Canadian ones.
Here is a sample conversation between a non-hockey fan and you. Please use is as a template for similar moments of befuddlement and agitation.
• • •
Q. Doesn't hockey know that nobody cares about stupid hockey?
A. No, they're blissfully unaware of this.
Q. I watch ESPN every night and haven't seen anything about this stuff. Are you sure it's actually happening?
A. Unfortunately, yes, but the reason you haven't seen it is because Skip Bayless hasn't found a way to link percentage of League revenue to either Tim Tebow's godliness or LeBron's attitude. Give it time.
[NHL players gird for battle in a lockout war they can't really win]
Q. Why would they strike again so soon?
A. It's not a strike, it's a lockout. You know, like the NBA and NFL just did? Just like that.
Also, we suspect the owners kind of like it, being that they don't lose as much money by not paying the players and end up getting a crap-ton more of it in the end.
Q. The players should tell them to 'puck off'. Because they play with pucks, right?
A. Clever word play! But the owners would tell them those pucks are a hockey-related cost and therefore the players' share of revenues has to be rolled back to 40 percent to cover them.
Q. What happens to the ice in all the arenas if there's no hockey?
A. It's ground up and made into Sno-cones for underprivileged inner city kids.
Q. What happens to the coaches?
A. They'll still get paid, but some are already lining up work. John Tortorella, for example, has just been hired by the New York City Tourism Board as a crazy person who belittles everything he sees, in order to make the locals seem more calm and reasonable by comparison. Also, Bruce Boudreau has been hired as a model for Weebles.
Q. What happens to the mascots?
A. They'll survive, depending on their proximity to Alyssa Milano.
Q. Didn't the NHL just sign a bazillion dollar contract with NBC?
A. Oh you mean the network owned by one of the team's owners that's giving the league a free $200 million loan to not cover it this year? Yeah, why do you ask?
Actually, I have to be honest: The NHL doesn't actually have a formal national TV contract in the U.S. NBC is legally obligated, under the federal Fair Use Act, to show at least one outdoor hockey game and up to five Stanley Cup Finals indoor hockey games for every new singing competition show it airs.
Otherwise, NHL games are only televised in Canada, which is why you can never find them in your U.S. hotel room.
Q. So they're not going to play the Winter Classic? I love watching two minutes of that every year during commercials on bowl games.
A. Come on, it's football. You can watch the entire second period during the commercials.
Q. I haven't seen a hockey game in a few years. Does Messier still play?
A. Unfortunately, he retired some years back after becoming the greatest captain in Vancouver Canucks history.
Q. Will the lockout keep Alex Ovechkin from breaking Gretzky's goals record?
A. No, he's still on track to catch Gretzky around 2028. It's sick, really. Unbelievable.
Q. The only other hockey player I know is Sidney Crosby. Is he locked out too?
A. Correct.
Q. So Sidney Crosby won't be playing hockey this year if there's a lockout?
A. Correct.
Q. But didn't he miss most of last year too?
A. Correct.
Q. Geez. Does the universe hate this guy or what?
A. I guess so.
Q. What if Sidney Crosby threatened to cut off his hand unless the owners gave into the players' demands? Would that work?
A. No, because either way Ed Snider wins.
Q. Someone said something about escrow this one time. What is it?
A. Basically, the players make money for the owners, the owners hold that money until they make sure there's enough of it, and then they give it to the players so they can buy Halloween candy the following October. It's pretty much the players' least favorite thing ever, after venereal diseases and the handshake line.
Q. Escrow sounds like "ass grow." Like some kind of pill you take to make your ass bigger. I bet Kim Kardashian swallowed the whole bottle.
A. So there's this guy named Dustin Byfuglien...
Q. Don't the players already make enough money? What a bunch of greedy jerks, demanding more money and taking hockey away from the fans that pay for their salary in the process.
A. Okay listen. Never once has anybody decided to take in a hockey game just to make sure the players get paid. You don't pay their salary out of the goodness of your heart. You pay to be entertained, and this contributes to the profits that, eventually, pay their salary. Similarly, you don't give money at the grocery store to make sure the bagger gets paid. You buy a product. And if the grocers go on strike because their employers are offering them an unfair deal, and this act deprives you of a place to buy groceries, you don't gripe about how you pay their salaries so you should be entitled to groceries whenever you want. You just go somewhere else or wait for them to settle their dispute. So stop acting so bloody self-righteous.
Q. What do Canadians do when there's no hockey?
A. It's a dark, dark time for them and they don't like to talk about it. This one winter, there was no hockey, and one Canadian went completely insane. When he woke up, he had invented basketball.
Q. OK, so what will Americans do when there's no hockey?
A. Not watch hockey, as our Founding Fathers intended when they carved up sticks for teeth. No sticks and a full set of chompers … that's as anti-hockey as you can get.
Q. You guys have a lockout, like, every other year. Why do you keep coming back?
A. Because crack tastes so good when it hits our lips. And, frankly, because we all know we're winning the Cup next season. We're due.
(Thanks again to Mooney and Lambert for bringing the funny.)
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John Carlson signs 6-year deal with Capitals before CBA Armageddon
2012
Defenseman John Carlson, shown here dancing Gangnam Style, is a foundational player for the Washington Capitals' future, even if his 2011-12 season was affected by the dreaded sophomore jinx.
On Friday, one day before the current CBA expires, the Caps finally handed their 22-year-old restricted free agent his new contract: six years, $23.8 million.
From the Capitals:
"John is a talented young defenseman who has played very well for the Capitals and still has room to grow," said McPhee. "He wanted to make a long term commitment to the team and we are delighted that this young man who is an important part of our future will be a member of the club for many years to come."
Carlson, 22, recorded 32 points (nine goals, 23 assists) and 22 penalty minutes in 82 games last season with Washington, setting a career high in goals scored. He finished the season ranked second among Capitals blueliners in goals, points and shots (152) and tied for the team lead among defensemen in power-play goals (4).
The contract breaks down as $3.8 million in 2012-13 and then $4 million per season after that. Well, until the inevitable salary rollback in the new CBA, of course.
So if John Carlson -- an American Hero, for the record -- is worth a $3.967 million cap hit, what does Karl Alzner get in his next contract?
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Stars sign goalie Lehtonen to 5-year extension (Yahoo! Sports)
2012
Dallas Stars ink goalie Kari Lehtonen, but is he worth $5.9 million annually?
2012

Better late than under the terms of a new Collective Bargaining Agreement: With the clock on the current CBA nearing zero hour, the Dallas Stars signed goalie to a 5-year, $29.5-million contract extension that begins in 2013-14, according to Mark Stepneski of the Stars.
Lehtonen is entering the final year of a 3-year deal, with an annual cap hit of $3.55 million. While we're sure the value of his new contract will be affected by the next CBA, at the moment he has a massive $5.9 million cap hit beginning next summer.
Is he worth this rather hefty contract?
From the Stars:
Lehtonen, 28, concluded his eighth NHL season in 2011-12, earning a 32-22-4 record with a .922 save percentage, a 2.33 goals against average and four shutouts in 59 games. Earlier in the season, he became the first goaltender in Dallas Stars history to win seven consecutive games to start a season and finished the campaign allowing two-or-fewer goals in 37 of his 59 games. He was named the NHL's Second Star of October after posting an 8-1-0 record with a .947 SV% and a 1.75 GAA.
"Kari Lehtonen has worked extremely hard in his time with the Dallas Stars to establish himself as an elite goaltender in the NHL," said General Manager Joe Nieuwendyk. "We believe that his best days as a goaltender are ahead, and that his work ethic and leadership will help guide this team into a perennial Stanley Cup contender."
(Perennial? Let's make the playoffs first there, Joey. Baby steps.)
Kari Lehtonen is entering his prime years but without question still a goaltender whose stability is a concern. Yes, he's worked harder on conditioning as a member of the Stars than he had previously, but he's still a player who ends up on the shelf whether it's in the regular season or in international play.
Stability aside, is he worth the money? Here's his tax bracket, via Cap Geek:
Lehtonen's a solid goaltender when he's healthy, but there's one reason why he's getting $5.9 million AAV and his name is Carey Price. From Defending Big D earlier this summer:
The Price contract is the most interesting when applied to Kari. The Canadiens gave Price six years and 39 million dollars for a cap hit of 6.5 million. They've been pretty comparable performers over the past couple of seasons at even strength. Price is quite a bit younger than Lehtonen (24 vs 28) it stands to reason that Price would get a longer deal than Lehtonen.
We're not in love with the money on this deal, but it is what it is. The deal eats up all UFA years, hence the high cap hit. And if the standard for an effective but oft-injured goalie is $6 million AAV (a.k.a. Niklas Backstrom) then you better understand the Lehtonen deal.
But we do like the term. It allows Jack Campbell to develop as a reasonable rate rather than being tossed into the fray too earlier, which can be the difference between a goalie that becomes Cory Schneider and one that becomes Steve Mason. In a few years, the Stars could have one the League's best platoons — unless there's a market for a goalie with Lehtonen's price tag when Campbell's ready to take the gig.
Goal celebration of the year? Watch Iiro Vehmanen score, climb the glass and blow a kiss (VIDEO)
2012
Hockey fans have witnessed some inventive goal celebrations this year, from Andrey Stepanov's slide-and-pose to Alex Ovechkin's Hulk Hogan routine to Evgeny Kuznetsov's kayak to, of course, Scott Hartnell's Phaneuf-smacking
Inventive as they were, none of those cellys involved a player scoring a goal, skating over to the stands, climbing the glass and blowing a kiss to the fans. Which is exactly what Finnish player Iiro Vehmanen of TuTo did this week in a Mestis (Finland2) league game against KooKoo.
The routine begins around the 30-second mark, in case the video doesn't auto-jump, and there's an interview and replay about a minute later. This is priceless. Or completely bad form. One of the two:
In case you were wondering: Yes, this celebration did draw the ire of Vehmanen's opponents, as Miihkali Teppo went nuts on him to help earn 27 penalty minutes for the game — the season opener for both clubs. TuTo won, 3-2, in the shootout.
So what's your call? Classless or hysterical? This does veer off into NFL touchdown celebration territory, which is one step away from prop comedy. But maybe there was an object of affection he was trying to impress. Or, maybe he just really, really loves his fans.
Take a note for post-lockout goal celebrations, NHL — mandatory air smooches! That'll smooth things over.
Shane Doan’s decision down to Coyotes vs. Canucks, according to report
2012
Shane Doan and his agent indicated that the unrestricted free agent would make a decision on a new deal before the CBA's expiration on Sept. 15, a.k.a. Saturday.
Would it be to remain with the Phoenix Coyotes, the only franchise he's known in the NHL? Or would the team's murky future in Glendale force him to sign elsewhere?
According to John Gambadoro, a sports host on Sports 620 KTAR Phoenix:
It is down two - Phoenix and Vancouver. Coyotes Captain Shane Doan will sign a contract deciding where he will play by 5 pm NY time Friday.
The hangup with Doan signing with Phoenix is that the City of Glendale has reneged on its original lease agreement deal with Greg Jamison. Glendale is looking to rework the lease agreement deal that was agreed to and that hangup is causing a delay in the purchase.
Doan has a deal in place with GM Don Maloney and the Coyotes, but signing that deal was contingent on potential owner Greg Jamison finalizing a lease agreement with Glendale. The city wants to change the terms of that lease, but the Phoenix Business Journal is optimistic that the sale of the team could close as early as this week.
But if it doesn't, and Doan isn't sure that Jamison will eventually own the team, then it appears the Vancouver Canucks will be his next NHL destination.
They've been in the mix for Doan since July, as his wife is originally from Kamloops, B.C.
What would Doan mean to the Canucks? From Wyatt Arndt from the Legion of Blog:
For the fans of the Canucks, Shane Doan represents a potential final piece of the Stanley Cup puzzle. I don't know if many of you remember this, but back in 2011 the Vancouver Canucks almost won the Stanley Cup, before losing to some team from Boston was it? Well, many years have passed, and it has left many fans wanting another shot at eternal glory. And by glory I mean good glory, not the Sean Bean glory where he dies in a heroic scene, just short of victory. Vancouver doesn't want to be Sean Bean anymore. So any news of Shane Doan signing with a team will catch the interest of any Canucks fan.
Doan is that prototypical veteran power forward the Canucks have lacked for years: a player who ups his game in the postseason, leads by example and plays with a physical snarl. The "final piece of the puzzle" thing isn't hyperbole.
If it is indeed down to the Coyotes and the Canucks, one assumes Doan would fit under the cap via a Roberto Luongo trade, seeing as how Vancouver is just over $2.4 million under the current cap.
But, in the end, it could still be the Coyotes. He's waited this long for a reason — his heart's in Glendale.
‘The Lockout Song’ is our favorite cynical NHL fan anthem of 2012 (VIDEO)
2012
More and more NHL fans are asking, "What can I do to show these greedy jerks how cheesed off I am about the lockout?" We all know arena boycotts don't work because, well, we all love hockey too much. But what about something we can live without — like, for example, official merchandise?
That's the rallying cry of "The Lockout Song," the latest unofficial fan anthem of the 2012 NHL work stoppage. Arun (aka "exanimeau" on YouTube) previously graced the world with "Hey There Iginla"; now he's transformed Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" into an anti-lockout screed. Watch, laugh, enjoy and tell a friend:
No mini-Zambonis or bellybutton rings? Labor war is indeed hell.
Watching this charming music video, we're suddenly reminded of something that, at times, gets lost when a bunch of adults are squabbling over millions of dollars: They're about to alienate millions of kids that love, or have grown to love, this league.
That alone might make you want to hold off on buying that officially licensed lamp for a while …
NHL 2012-13 Campaign Preview: Calgary Flames
2012

Yes, indeed, despite the promise of impending labor Armageddon and a prolonged work-stoppage, your friends at Puck Daddy are previewing the 2012-13 NHL season (whenever the heck it starts). Why? Because this is the most important election in the history of all-time ever, and you need to know the candidates — starting with the Calgary Flames.

The Flames 2011-12 was a lot like their 2010-11. In contention right up until the final week of the season, they just couldn't get over the hump, and found themselves outside looking in. In 2010-11, when the playoffs began, they were three points back of 8th-place Chicago. In 2011-12, they finished five points behind the 8th-place LA Kings. Fans renewed their calls for a rebuild.
But hey man, the Kings went on to win the Stanley Cup. Why would you rebuild when you were only five points behind them? Why not just hire a coach whose last period of success was pre-lockout and let the championships roll in like they did?
Thus, GM Jay Feaster entered year two of his stubborn refusal to burn it down. Instead, he put some new vinyl siding on it. That's expensive, of course. The Flames continue to boast one of the league's highest payrolls.
Rather than planning for the future, Feaster reached into the past, bringing Michael Cammalleri back from Montreal. Then, in the summer, he brought 2001 Stanley Cup-winning coach Bob Hartley back from Zurich.
Fans are getting restless for some high draft picks that would help Calgary load up for the future, but that restlessness can be cured by instant winning. At this point, it has to be. Will the Flames' insistence on winning now garner the immediate payoff it needs?
"Shut up your Mom is rebuilding"

Gone is Olli Jokinen, whose second stint in Calgary was better than his first, and resulted in a friendly deal with the Winnipeg Jets. Also departing are forwards Tom Kostopoulos, David Moss, who took a deal with the Phoenix Coyotes, and enforcers Raitis Ivanans and Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond (who spent the bulk of the season in the AHL anyway).
Blueliner Scott Hannan was allowed to walk as well.
But you don't want to hear about who left. Far more interesting is who the Flames brought in, and how much they paid do so. In comes Dennis Wideman, for five years at $5.25 per, to help a Flames' powerplay that was middle of the pack last year. Anton Babchuk will probably help with that as well, and at $2.5 million with a no-trade clause, he'd better.
Up front, Feaster grabbed Jiri Hudler for $16 million over four years, as well as centre Roman Cervenka, the KHL's 2010-11 leading scorer.
At forward … Jarome Iginla continues to lead the corps, and if the last 11 years are any indication, he should be good for 30 goals.
The Flames' real issue will be at centre, where their top two guys come packaged with some serious questions. Michael Cammalleri has spent most of his NHL career as a winger, but he finished last season at centre, and will likely begin this season as Iginla's pivot. Behind Cammalleri, the Flames are counting on Roman Cervenka centring line two. As mentioned, he was the KHL's leading scorer two years ago, but he was converted to center that year for the first to play with Jaromir Jagr.
In effect, unless Michael Backlund takes the step forward everyone's been waiting for, it's a converted winger and an NHL rookie who's also a converted winger playing the middle on the top two lines. Granted, they'll have some help, as Alex Tanguay will do most of the passing on line 1 and Jiri Hudler should be able to help Cervenka transition to the National on line 2, but still -- that's a tenuous situation, and there is no room for error.
Curtis Glencross and rookie Sven Baertschi will likely compete for that final wing spot in the top six.
On defense … Jay Bouwmeester continues to get paid like the guy without truly being the guy. He's an excellent shutdown defenceman, and if he weren't being paid like a 50-point player, people might notice, but he'll continue to get criticized for not being the player Flames fans thought they were getting.
Luckily, he won't be relied on to provide as much offense from the back end this year. He'll likely continue to anchor a shutdown pairing with Chris Butler.
The scoring will come from the second pairing of Mark Giordano and Dennis Wideman, or at least, considering they're being paid just over $9 million combined, it had better. Both have had a 40-point season in the last two years. If they can both have another, the Flames will be doing cartwheels.
The big concern the Flames have on their back end: it's not very tough. Bouwmeester and Anton Babchuk are big, but they don't play big. Neither do Wideman and Giordano. The only real sandpaper on that blueline might come from Cory Sarich, and he'll only be on the ice about 16 minutes a game.
Prospect T.J. Brodie is a wild card back there as well.
In goal … Miikka Kiprusoff. And only Miikka Kiprusoff. This guy has played over 70 games for 7 straight seasons, and it looks like the only thing that might save him another one is a lockout-shortened season. He might be the only guy totally down with missing a few months.
Behind him, Henrik Karlsson and Leland Irving will battle it out for the job, and Irving will most likely win. He won the job halfway through the season last year, but the Flames didn't want to lose Karlsson to waivers in case Kiprusoff got hurt, so they shuttled a waiver-exempt Irving up and down for his spot-starts. This year, he's waiver-eligible and Calgary already has two goalies in Abbotsford, so unless Irving fizzles in training camp, expect the Flames to find a way to shed Karlsson's contract in Europe.

Nothing says living in the past like "Those Red Hot Flames", which comes complete with 80s synth, brass, moustaches and white polo shirts tucked into jeans.
Perhaps the biggest change of all is behind the bench, where Bob Hartley returns to the NHL after spending some time abroad in the Swiss league. He's had his successes, most notably as the coach of the Colorado Avalanche at the beginning of the last decade, but he's also had his flops, such as the four-year stint in Atlanta that chased him from the NHL. He's perfect for a team insistent in coasting on the glory days of the early oughts. But can he adjust for the modern NHL?
Up in the box, Jay Feaster continues to be large and in charge.

Michael Cammalleri is the key.
Yes, yes, Jarome Iginla is the star on this team. He's the captain, he's a consistent 30-goal guy, and he'll give the Flames the same thing he always gives them: leadership, scoring, toughness, et cetera, et cetera. But that hasn't been enough to get them into the playoffs for two years now, and he's not driving play like he used to. Unless Michael Cammalleri can settle in as Iginla's running mate and push the top line and the powerplay to the next level, it likely won't be again.
Either Cammalleri returns to something near point a game, game-breaker status or the Flames don't have the success they're hoping for.
Called up on an emergency basis during the Flames' rash of injuries late last season, 19-year-old winger Sven Baertschi won hearts with three goals in five games during a crucial stretch drive. Sure, it's a tiny sample size, but he's the best forward prospect the Flames have had since Iginla in the mid-90s, and his brief showing was enough for Flames fans and management to get excited about having the CHL's top points per game guy in their lineup full-time. That should happen this year, and a big rookie campaign is expected.
Dennis Wideman is paid a whole lot of money and if he doesn't do well out of the gate, people will start to remember that, but I'd be more concerned about Jiri Hudler. He'll be expected to produce at least 50 points, like he did twice in Detroit (and also once in the KHL in between), but he's not playing with the same calibre of centres in Calgary. There is no Henrik Zetterberg on this team. There may not even be a Valteri Filppula.
Even more concerning, Hudler might wind up the only NHL veteran on a line with Cervenka and Baertschi. Can he carry a line for the first time in his NHL career?
Jarome Iginla *says* he was born in Canada. But have you ever seen his birth certificate? Why not? What's he hiding?
The Flames are a much different team last year, and if everything goes well, they could be better too. But I'd wager that, despite spending heavily in the summer, they find themselves in about the same position in the spring: fighting for a playoff spot as the schedule winds down.
Bettman says another NHL lockout looms (Yahoo! Sports)
2012

NEW YORK (AP) -- NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman maintains the league will lock out players Sunday if a new labor deal isn't reached, and star player Sidney Crosby isn't optimistic the season will start on time.

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