To be fair, I don't blame Robin Lopez, Markieff Morris or Sebastian Telfair. Seeing Russell Westbrook coming at you with a head of steam, barreling down the lane and hellbent for the basket, is enough to send shivers up and down any defender's spine.

Westbrook has struck fear in the hearts of many paint patrollers this year, averaging as he is 6.5 shots per game at the rim, including more dunks than any guard other than Dwyane Wade. As proof that you are not alone, I offer the fact that a search for "russell westbrook" "scary" returns 59,200 results from the popular Internet search engine, most of which are Web pages written by Shane Battier, Lamar Odom and Mario Chalmers. Plus, he is a teammate of Kevin Durant, which means there are also probably a lot of ghosts hanging out around the backboard.

Still, though: Even if you're scared, you should probably get your Aragorn on and hold your ground rather than just stepping aside and letting Westbrook get to the cup unabated. You are, after all. Men of the West. Especially you, Robin. I expected better from an Ent.

(Holy cow, did we just go down a rabbit hole.)

Best caption wins a courage medal. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Chris Bosh has clearly been working on his weird-face-up game.

Winner, Azv321: "You really think 'Last Action Hero' was better than 'Total Recall?' C'mon, son."

Runner-up, A: Humphries: "You know, Chris, I really thought Kim and I had something going there.

Bosh: "..."

Second runner-up, Grey Ghost: Realizing his popularity has waned since joining the Heat, Chris Bosh decides to break out his famous Elvis Presley impression to win back fans.

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