In case of emergency, Cardinals use Carpenter — Matt Carpenter, that is

18 Oct
2012
by David Brown in Fantasy Baseball, General

ST. LOUIS — If rookie Matt Carpenter happens to be unhappy with his representation, then teammate David Freese might be his best bet for an agent. Freese paid him a high compliment Wednesday night, probably the most meaningful platitude one player can give another.

"He's on the wrong team," Freese said. "This guy should be starting for somebody. He just works his tail off and it shows."

You hear that, GM John Mozeliak? Freese just more or less demanded that Carpenter be traded. Such a move could be in Carpenter's best personal interest someday, but the Cardinals might regret it, and they're probably not going to do it, considering what he has meant to the club this season, and especially in Game 3 of the NLCS.

[Y! Sports Fan Shop: Buy St. Louis Cardinals playoffs merchandise]

Called on to replace Carlos Beltran — simply the best hitter in postseason history — Carpenter connected for a go-ahead two-run home run against San Francisco's Matt Cain in the third inning that keyed a 3-1 victory for the Cardinals at Busch Stadium. They lead the best-of-seven series against the Giants 2-1 heading into Thursday night.

As soon as it became obvious that Beltran was injured with a sore left knee and couldn't play after his at-bat in the bottom of the first inning, the Cardinals dugout scrambled into fire-drill mode. Manager Mike Matheny pointed at Carpenter, who didn't freak out. He didn't have time. Plus, he grasps his role too well.

"It was definitely a surprise," Carpenter said. "I didn't even realize that Carlos had hurt himself and, next thing you know, Mike came up to me and told me to grab my glove and I was going into right field. Really there was no thought process. It just happened so quickly. I was really in the game before I had time to think about it.

"It's one of those things that you can't expect but still be ready for. And I think I was."

Matheny said Carpenter's home run was "obviously the difference-maker."

"It's a pretty strong statement with the lineup we have that there are days when we know he's going to be an impact bat for us," Matheny said. "The fact that we've had different guys go down [with injuries] and he's able to step in no matter what we ask of him — those [kind of] players are invaluable to a club."

In the ninth inning, Carpenter had moved to first base and made a nice diving stop on a grounder by Marco Scutaro. Carpenter's versatility has allowed him to get 340 plate appearances and play five different positions — mostly third base, first and right field. (Third base, eh? Perhaps Freese is trying to eliminate the competition?) Carpenter doesn't look at it that way. He sees himself not as being blocked by other players — Freese, Beltran, Allen Craig — but instead as a spoke inside a wheel.

"As far as staying ready on the bench, that's the role I've had all season long," Carpenter said. "There's a routine that goes with that, with your pregame work and your B.P. and all those things that help you get ready. And then, when the game starts, you just try to stay locked in with what's happening, so stuff like this doesn't surprise you."

[Related: Giants' comeback hinges on Tim Lincecum's outing]

Carpenter hit .294/.365/.463 with six homers and 33 extra-base hits overall. Drafted from TCU in 2009, Carpenter's power is a new development at age 26. He credits working with hitting instructors Mark McGwire and John Mabry. (Carpenter calls them "coach Mabry and coach McGwire," as if he's still in college. Adorable. But also telling.)

Carpenter also came in 4 for 4 for his career against Cain, who threw a perfect game earlier this season and has helped win a World Series. But Matheny said Carpenter's brief-but-sterling credentials against Cain had little to do with why he played.

"People will talk about the sample size [being too small]," Matheny said. "But to me, Carpenter is a guy we try to get at-bats for whenever we can."

His success against Cain certainly didn't breed overconfidence, Carpenter said.

"It seems like he's always ahead of me, like tonight — I was down 0-2 in the count, and I just like to grind out those at-bats and fight when I'm up there," Carpenter said. "I worked my way back to a 2-2 count. It was a slider that caught some of the plate and I put a good swing on it."

While allowing for Carpenter's ability, Cain said he did a poor job of taking advantage of Beltran being out of the lineup — specifically that he made a bad pitch against Carpenter.

Beltran, who has endured chronic knee pain for years, still could start Game 4 against right-hander Tim Lincecum. An MRI on Beltran's knee came back clean. But if he doesn't start — or if pretty much anyone else on the Cardinals has to be replaced — they are covered with Carpenter.

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NLCS Game 3: Matt Carpenter’s blast and strong bullpen help Cardinals retake series lead

17 Oct
2012

Score and situation: The St. Louis Cardinals overcame Carlos Beltran's early exit, an effective Matt Cain and a 3-hour, 28-minute rain delay to secure a pivotal 3-1 victory over the San Francisco Giants on Wednesday. They now hold a 2-1 advantage in the series heading into Thursday night's Game 4 at Busch Stadium.

Leading lads: Filling in for the injured Beltran, Matt Carpenter made an immediate impact when he connected for a two-run home run off Matt Cain in the third. Relievers Trevor Rosenthal and Mitchell Boggs were also key contributors in the win, wiggling out of separate jams in the sixth and seventh innings while bridging the gap to Jason Motte.

Manager Mike Matheny asked his closer to record six outs, and Motte responded by setting them down in order to earn the first postseason six-out save by a Cardinals pitcher since Steve Kline in the 2001 NLDS.

Head hangers: Hunter Pence was at the center of San Francisco's two biggest wasted opportunities. Even though they broke through for a run in the third, they had a chance for a bigger inning after Matheny elected to intentionally walk Buster Posey to put runners at the corners. Hunter Pence proceeded to ground into an inning ending double play to kill that threat. In the seventh, it was Pence and Brandon Belt both going down on strikes with two runners on base. Pence ended up 0 for 4 on the afternoon. Belt was 0 for 3 with a walk. The Giants as a team were 0 for 7 with runners in scoring position after starting the series 7 for 20.

Key play: Matt Carpenter's home run was the turning point and an emotional lift for St. Louis. But one play that might end up overlooked was Matt Holliday holding Pablo Sandoval to a single on a ball the Kung Fu Panda smoked off the left-field wall in the seventh inning. That changed the entire outlook on the inning, and guaranteed Buster Posey's single that followed did not score the game-tying run. Of course the Giants left both runners stranded.

Interesting Stat: The Giants experienced weather delays totaling 188 minutes during the regular season. The delay in Game 3 was 208 minutes.

What they'll be talking about: The status of Carlos Beltran's knee will get a lot of attention because his absence changes the dynamic of the Cardinals lineup completely. Granted, after Carpenter's home run you almost get the sense St. Louis can plug any player in at any position and it'll somehow work out for them, but this has to be viewed realistically. The Cardinals depth and postseason magic would be put to the ultimate test if Beltran misses time or is limited going forward.

What's next: The Cardinals will look to take a commanding 3-1 series lead in Thursday's Game 4, which is scheduled to begin at 8:07 p.m. ET. To get it, they'll need a bounce-back performance from Adam Wainwright, who was unable to get through four innings in the winner-take-all Game 5 against the Washington Nationals. Bruce Bochy confirmed late Wednesday night that he will turn to Tim Lincecum on Thursday and Barry Zito will make the start in Game 5.

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Carlos Beltran hurt, replacement Matt Carpenter homers for Cards in NLCS Game 3

17 Oct
2012
by David Brown in Fantasy Baseball, General

ST. LOUIS — Even the replacement for the best postseason slugger in history came out swinging in the playoffs.

Filling in for an injured Carlos Beltran, rookie Matt Carpenter lined a go-ahead two-run home run in the bottom of the third inning of Game 3 of the NLCS on Wednesday afternoon. Carpenter's homer came with two outs and gave St. Louis a one-run lead against San Francisco Giants right-hander Matt Cain.

Beltran left the game after his at-bat in the first inning. The club announced he has a strained left knee and is day to day.

Of course, Beltran's absence seemed like a big deal at the time — and would might be — but Carpenter filled in ably for one monster of a playoff performer.

Beltran hit .269/.346/.495 with with 32 homers in the regular season, and had been continuing his otherworldly production in the playoffs, where he came in a career .378/.489/.838 with 14 homers 30 career games. (Thirty games!) He has three homers so far in these playoffs.

Beltran did not appear to be injured before, during or immediately after he grounded into a 4-6-3 double play in the first inning. But "after a scramble in the dugout" (as reported by Ken Rosenthal of Fox TV), Carpenter took Beltran's place in right field in the top of the second. Carpenter hit .294/.365 .463 with 22 homers, five triples and six homers in 340 at-bats. He frequently filled in at third base and first, and played 22 games in the outfield during the regular season.

Carpenter also came in 0 for 5 with three strikeouts in the playoffs and hadn't played in the NLCS. But he also came in 4 for 4 for his career against Cain.

On Sept. 2, Beltran injured the same knee sliding in a game at Washington. He missed the next two games and went into a 3-for-22 skid — for what it's worth — thereafter.

Beltran has an infamous history of being banged up. Reporter Joe Strauss of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch had noticed that Beltran had his left hand heavily wrapped after Game 2 of the NLCS on Monday night. After several inquiries, Beltran took to Twitter and announced:

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Albert Pujols fondly recalled at NLCS by St. Louis fan with snarky signs (Photos)

17 Oct
2012
by David Brown in Fantasy Baseball, General

ST. LOUIS — The St. Louis Cardinals seem to have done well for themselves without slugger Albert Pujols, who signed a $240 million deal with the Los Angeles Angels last offseason. After all, here they are ready for Game 3 of the NLCS. Allen Craig is the first baseman and hitting just fine. Carlos Beltran is the big-money guy in right field and is the best offensive player in the history of baseball in the playoffs. And Pujols is home, not playing in October.

The Cardinals are OK without Pujols and a lot of fans seem really OK without him. Take the gentleman with the sign in the photo above.

Marty Prather of Springfield, Mo., (home of The Missouri State Bears) made a deal with a buddy of his: You paint some amusing signs of Albert Pujols not in the playoffs and I'll trade you some pizzas for them (Marty owns some Dominoes franchises.) Voila! We have a fun painting of the back of Albert's head as he sits at home in front of a TV watching the NLCS on Fox TV.

There was also this one:

Ah yes, the old "he's playing golf now" dig. I like the other one better. It's worth more pizzas. But this says what it needs to and it does have a nice halo. Pujols wasn't at the park to see Prather's first display, but maybe he'll catch it on DVR later.

Anyway, Prather, 54, says he has been a season-ticket holder for 30 years. It's cool that he still has enough enthusiasm to spare some pizzas in the name of snarky ballpark signage.

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Detroit Tigers World Series Tickets

17 Oct
2012
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NFL adds second game in United Kingdom for 2013

17 Oct
2012

The National Football League is expanding its International Series, adding a second game in London's Wembley Stadium during the 2013 season, the league announced on Tuesday. It will be the first time that London has played host to two NFL games in the same season.

On Oct. 11, 2012, the NFL had previously announced a game between the Jacksonville Jaguars, who will be the home team, and the San Francisco 49ers, which is scheduled for Oct. 27, 2013. The Jaguars have agreed to play four home games in London between 2013 and 2016, replacing the St. Louis Rams, who backed out of a three-year commitment to London in order to focus on reaching a new stadium deal in St. Louis. The Rams will host the New England Patriots at Wembley Stadium on Oct. 28, 2012.

On Tuesday, the league added a game between the Minnesota Vikings and Pittsburgh Steelers on Sept. 29, 2013. The Vikings, who will be in the process of building a new stadium, will be the home team.

"Since we started playing regular-season games in London five years ago, we have heard very clearly from our UK fans — they want more football." NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said from the owner meetings in Chicago. "We are excited to play two games in London and take this next step in the growth of our game. We believe that more football will lead to more fans."

Adding a second game in the United Kingdom has been a goal of Goodell's for quite some time. As initially reported by Daniel Kaplan of the SportsBusiness Journal following a Sept. 27, 2011 press conference to announce that New York/New Jersey would host Super Bowl XLVIII, Goodell had hoped to have a second game in the United Kingdom for the 2012 season.

With Steelers chairman emeritus Dan Rooney serving as the United States Ambassador to Ireland, the NFL has considered bringing a regular-season game to the Emerald Isle, but the focus appears to be centered on London, a city the league hopes may become a viable option for a full-time franchise.

"Again, if we can play multiple regular-season games there, that gives you a better opportunity to be successful if you choose to put a franchise in London," Goodell said. "But again, that is the other reason for putting two games in London — we are trying to build that fan base in London. We welcome the fans coming from other parts of Europe. But this is a way to really build that fan base right now in London, which will be critical if you did have a franchise there."

Building and expanding a fan base in London is a great idea, but putting a full-time franchise overseas makes little or no sense.

For starters, that franchise is going to have a difficult time attracting free agents; 40.6 percent of the 1,691 players on NFL rosters at the beginning of the season were from California, Texas, Florida or Georgia. Good luck getting players to move 4,000 to 6,000 miles and across an ocean. (Some players may not even know where London is.) That is, of course, if the team is even based in London. It would make more sense from an operations standpoint -- road travel, signing free agents, adding players during the season, etc... -- for a franchise to set up a base on the Eastern Seaboard of the United States and pop over to London during game weeks.  But if that's the case, that franchise will have to board a plane before every game, and will surely struggle to build a real connection to the city of London that it needs to be a success.

In other words, let's get Los Angeles a team (or two) before we jump the pond.

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Thunder top Bobcats 120-98 in home preseason debut (Yahoo! Sports)

16 Oct
2012

Oklahoma City Thunder forward Serge Ibaka (9) dunks in front of Charlotte Bobcats forward Byron Mullens during the first quarter of a preseason NBA basketball game in Oklahoma City, Tuesday, Oct. 16, 2012. (AP Photo/Sue Ogrocki)

OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) -- The Oklahoma City Thunder's first home game since the NBA Finals turned into a showcase for a handful of training camp invitees trying to earn the final roster spot.


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ALCS Game 3: Justin Verlander and Phil Coke put Tigers on brink of World Series with 2-1 win

16 Oct
2012

Score and situation: The Detroit Tigers moved one game away from a berth in the World Series with a 2-1 win over the New York Yankees in Tuesday night's Game 3 of the ALCS.

Leading lads: If there were any doubts that Justin Verlander wouldn't get it done in Game 3 — oops! — the ace right-hander and the impotent Yankees lineup sure didn't harbor any of them. Though his strikeout total was an uncharacteristic three, Verlander put the Yankees on the brink of elimination by limiting them to one run, three hits and no walks over 8 1/3 innings.

Verlander's  lone mistake came in the ninth inning when he surrendered a leadoff home run to Eduardo Nunez, but he retired the next batter (Brett Gardner) before leaving the real drama to Phil Coke after throwing 132 pitches. The left-handed reliever got Ichiro to ground out, before giving up consecutive hits to Mark Teixeira and Robinson Cano. There was no blown save in this story, though, as Coke got the 27th out on a 3-2 slider for a strikeout of postseason hero Raul Ibanez.

As for the Tigers offense, Delmon Young got the Tigers on the board with a solo home run in the fourth inning while Miguel Cabrera tacked on an insurance run they'd end up needing by doubling home Quintin Berry in the fifth.

Head hangers: Ichiro had New York's only two hits through the first eight innings, so stick the rest of the Yankees lineup under this heading for failing to score in innings 1 through 8 for the third straight game. New York starter Phil Hughes was a non-factor, pitching so-so baseball for three innings before being pulled for a combination of five relievers.

Key play: Coke's game-ending strikeout of Raul Ibanez was as big as it gets.

Interesting stat: The Yankees haven't been swept in a postseason series since facing the Kansas City Royals in the 1980 ALCS. That's a span of 36 playoff series.

What they'll be talking about: There's going to be any amount of Yankee hand-wringing, but can we just take a moment to appreciate what Verlander and Detroit pitching have done the past two weeks? The Tigers ace is 3-0 in his first three postseason starts this year, pitching 24 1/3 innings, giving up a total of two earned runs while striking out 25 and walking only five. The Nunez homer snapped a 37 2/3 scoreless inning streak that Tigers starters had posted for a postseason record, but Coke ensured that it's a blemish Detroit fans will be able to live with.

What's next: The Tigers swept their way into the 2006 World Series over Oakland and they'll aim to do the same in Wednesday night's Game 4 over New York. CC Sabathia is charged with saving the Yankees' season while Max Scherzer will aim to close it. First pitch is scheduled for 8:07 ET.

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Robinson Cano enjoys view of Justin Verlander while lounging in computer chair (Photo)

16 Oct
2012

Alex Rodriguez and Nick Swisher found themselves out of Tuesday night's lineup for a 2-1 loss in ALCS Game 3, but it was starting second baseman Robinson Cano who really made himself look right at home in the New York Yankees dugout. With his feet propped up on a Gatorade cooler, Cano leaned back in a stiff chair that looked like it belonged in an office park, not Comerica Park, and watched as Detroit starter Justin Verlander went to work.

Not exactly the type of body language a Yankees fan would want to see with their team sitting in a three-game hole that Cano has helped dig. He was hitless in his first three at-bats on Tuesday, extending his record-setting slump to 0 for his last 29 before breaking it with a single in the ninth. He's 3 for 36 this entire postseason and if the Yankees don't mount some kind of comeback, this picture — which actually looks like it was taken after the final out of a loss instead of the third inning in a scoreless game — will serve as the best image of the Yankees collapse in the 2012 ALCS.

There was some complaining about Cano's posture on Twitter though nothing close to the furor that would have broken out had we seen A-Rod relaxing. Seriously, can you even imagine? The New York tabs would have already rushed out three special editions had A-Rod done as much as managed a yawn on the bench.

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NFL Power Rankings: Seahawks and Packers rising, Steelers and Bengals falling

16 Oct
2012
by in Fantasy Football, General

It's going to be a rough week for the "We just beat them, so now we should be ranked ahead of them" crowd. Just about everyone in the league refused to comply with their spot in the power rankings, as the teams slotted 19th, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 27th, 28th, 30th and 31st won, while the teams ranked 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 6th, 8th and 9th all lost.

What's a power ranker supposed to do with that? Give up on the concept of power rankings as fruitless and indicative of nothing? I refuse. I will revise, adjust and adapt to the ever-shifting climate of the league. Just probably not as quickly as you would like.

We've got a lot of big movers this week. All told, nine teams move five or more spots, but the most significant movement came from one game ‒ the Jets leapt up by a staggering 10 spots, and the Colts dropped by nine. Read on to see where your team ranks, and be sure to complain about it in the comments below.

1. Atlanta Falcons (6-0)
Last week: 1

There are those who point to the Falcons' record of 6-0 and believe they're the best team in football. There are also those who think they're overrated and point to their struggles against Carolina and Washington, and now this week's slopfest against Oakland. Which group is right? The former. Power rankings do not lie.

2. New York Giants (4-2)
Last week: 4

It seems like it took that big win against the 49ers to remind everyone that the Giants are pretty good. Noted ‒ the Giants are pretty good. And they didn't even call on the aerial assault of Eli Manning, Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz. They basically won without them. Manning was under 200 yards passing and Cruz and Nicks combined for 104. When that pass rush is on, they really don't need much else.

3. Houston Texans (5-1)
Last week: 2

So they got clobbered on Sunday night against the Packers ‒ what's the takeaway? That Aaron Rodgers might still be a really good quarterback, and that the Texans are not a perfect football team? Neither of these items need be accompanied by a "Breaking News" graphic. They hacked up a furball against a desperate team that played their best football of the season. It happens.

4. Baltimore Ravens (5-1)
Last week: 7

I feel like there should've been a massive gap after the third team ‒ Falcons first, Giants second, Texans third, and then a whole lot of bank space and we'll resume around 10 or so. The Ravens probably didn't deserve to win this week (not my words, they're Joe Flacco's), but that's how the NFL carousel rotates. It just happened to be the Ravens this week who were the recipient of the Cowboys' weekly gift of football ineptitude.

5. Chicago Bears (4-1)
Last week: 10

Off this week, and that's a pretty big jump for a team that didn't play. Maybe the Bears ought to keep sitting games out and just see how far they'll rise.

6. San Francisco 49ers (4-2)
Last week: 3

I hate to get too carried away with one result, but the 49ers weren't just beaten ‒ their strengths were beaten. The Giants ran between the tackles with impunity, and defensively, turned the 49ers into a passing team and buried them with pressure on Alex Smith, who was sacked six time. A week ago, the 49ers seemed like the easy choice to win the NFC West and a likely choice for a first-round bye in the playoffs. Now I wonder if the Giants exposed something and if the Seahawks can do the same on Thursday night, and take control of the division.

7. New England Patriots (3-3)
Last week: 5

Losing in Seattle is about the most forgivable thing in the league right now ‒ the defense and the crowd there are ferocious (as was the rain Sunday), and it seemed to affect even the usually unflappable Patriots. I've got concerns about the secondary there, but as far as New England's general outlook going forward, they'll be fine. They're not going to play defenses like Seattle's every week, and they'll tuck the ball back into the belly of Brandon Bolden and Stevan Ridley, and all will be well. Except the secondary.

8. Green Bay Packers (3-3)
Last week: 13

If we can consider the Aaron Rodgers touchdown orgy against the Texans an official resurrection, we can then look ahead for the Pack. The next four are against St. Louis, Jacksonville, Arizona and Detroit, with a bye week mixed in there. A record of 7-3 seems, if not probable, certainly possible. And if that did come to pass, I'd be very surprised if they weren't at least tied for the lead in the NFC North at that point.

9. Denver Broncos (3-3)
Last week: 11

Peyton Manning went 13 of 14 for 167 yards in the second half on Monday night, and that's really, really good. And the Broncos are good, and still getting better. All that is worth mentioning, but I find it difficult to grade Denver's Monday night performance, since it happened against an all-encompassing cataclysm from the Chargers.

10. Philadelphia Eagles (3-3)
Last week: 6

I'm not concerned that Michael Vick owns a dog again. What does concern me, though, is Vick's apparent tendency to slather that dog in butter, WD-40, Crisco, and petroleum jelly, pet that dog for a half hour, and then refuse to wash his hands before playing a football game. Not only is it disgusting and unsanitary, but it automatically puts the Eagles in about a 14-point hole every time they play. It's remarkable that this keeps happening. I can't recall a quarterback having such a turnover-laden season who wasn't also a truly awful quarterback. Which Vick is not.


11. Seattle Seahawks (4-2)
Last week: 16

The Seahawks continue to quietly climb, and they seem to keep getting big power ranking boosts after games they play at home. At home this year, they've squashed Dallas, "beat" Green Bay, and beat New England, and on the road, they've lost to Arizona, lost to St. Louis, and eked out an uggo over Carolina. Their next two are on the road.

12. Minnesota Vikings (4-2)
Last week: 8

It's strange how kicking four field goals is a pretty reliable way to lose a game. Kicker Blair Walsh accounted for all of the Vikings points through three quarters with four field goals, all of which came from offensive drives that stalled in the red zone. The comeback attempt was nice, but much like the 49ers, this isn't a team that will make a living playing from behind.

13. Miami Dolphins (3-3)
Last week: 15

The Dolphins are all over the place. They've been blown out, and blew somebody out. Then they lost two straight close games, and now they've won two straight close games. This is good, but only because the Dolphins were supposed to be absolutely terrible. Ryan Tannehill has been better than advertised, and third-round rookie Olivier Vernon made plays chasing Sam Bradford, too.

14. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-3)
Last week: 9

The Steelers are way past the point of forgivable losses. I could've brushed off the collapse against Oakland as a fluke, but the Titans, too? Sorry, that's asking a bit much. The Steelers are either playing down to the level of their competition, they've turned into fourth-quarter gag artists, or they just aren't very good, at least away from home. The best thing going for them right now is that the Ravens defensive injuries are piling up so quickly.

15. San Diego Chargers (3-3)
Last week: 12

At halftime of the Monday night game, I was feeling pretty silly about having the Broncos ranked higher than the Chargers for all these weeks. Then the second half happened, and I don't feel silly anymore. I just feel sadness and concern, because I'm pretty sure Philip Rivers is going to hang himself with an extension cord. What a mess of a game and a mess of a team. The Chargers are like the AFC's version of the Cowboys, except without all the discipline and mental toughness.

16. Washington Redskins (3-3)
Last week: 19

Look who's only a game back in the NFC East ‒ it's Bob Griffin and his Redskins. It's hard to get a handle on just how good the Redskins are, but they are going to be a fun watch every week. RGIII is going to do things like run for 76-yard touchdowns, and defensively, everyone's going to light them up through the air. The jolly good-time Redskins have a chance to actually take the division lead this week against the Giants.

17. New York Jets (3-3)
Last week: 27

I feel a high level of internal discomfort even typing this, but the Jets can take the lead in the AFC East with a win next week. This fact is almost as confusing as looking at Shonn Greene's name in a box score and seeing the number "161" next to it, because as far as I know, the NFL has not added "number of times Shonn Greene has been called unspeakable things by each of his fantasy owners" to the official box score. I trust that he'll return to about 40 yards next week so the world can resume spinning on its axis.

18. Buffalo Bills (3-3)
Last week: 22

You feed a cold. You starve a fever. And you fix a leaky pass defense by playing a game against Kevin Kolb and John Skelton. For the Bills, the simple act of not being blown out would've been a step in the right direction, but they went above and beyond. They held Arizona to just 150 passing yards after giving up 643 over the last two weeks. True, Arizona ran for 182 yards and got 6.1 yards a carry, but we can only fix one thing at a time.

19. Arizona Cardinals (4-2)
Last week: 14

Consecutive losses to the Rams and Bills significantly dampen a 4-0 start, but I don't want to get too down on the Cards. They still have an excellent defense that's going to keep them in most games; but they also have a quarterback situation that's going to prevent them from winning a whole lot of them. The Cardinals are going to have a lot of games like that ‒ low scoring and decided on the feet of kickers. Having a 38-yarder to win is something they'll take most weeks.

20. St. Louis Rams (3-3)
Last week: 21

A couple of times this season the Rams have been the team finding a way to win. This week, despite outgaining the Dolphins 462-192, they found a way to lose. The 12 penalties certainly helped, as did an off day from Young GZ. And even though he only went 2 of 5 on the day, Greg Zuerlein was still worth the price of admission. The 66-yarder he attempted as time ran out had plenty of leg. Leg for days. I don't think I've ever seen a field-goal attempt hit that hard.


21. Detroit Lions (2-3)
Last week: 23

They knew they needed a win, and when it came down to it in the fourth quarter, they fought like hell for it. Why Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson were so ineffective for the first three quarters, though, I couldn't tell you. But now that we've eliminated, at least temporarily, special teams meltdowns, that's now the crucial issue with this team. They've got to pull Matthew Stafford's passer rating out of the gutter and get Calvin Johnson in the end zone.

22. Dallas Cowboys (2-3)
Last week: 21

I'd like to thank the Cowboys for going ahead and finishing that game in traditional Cowboy fashion, so no one has to continue to be confused about who they are. They might be the offense that tuned up the Ravens defense for 481 yards, and they might be the defense that held Ray Rice to under 4 yards a carry. But they're also the team that had 13 penalties and had to settle for a 51-yard field-goal attempt to win because they couldn't get off more than one play in 34 seconds. With a timeout.

23. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-3)
Last week: 24

Bizarre stat, via ESPN Stats and Information: Josh Freeman is completing 55.6 percent of throws longer than 15 yards downfield, and just 55.0 percent of his throws of 15 yards or shorter. It's kind of hard to interpret a stat so backwards, but my best guess is that it means that the best strategy for Josh Freeman is to chuck the ball deep and hope Vincent Jackson or Mike Williams come down with it.

24. Cincinnati Bengals (3-3)
Last week: 18

I guess 3-3 isn't the worst record in the world if you're the Bengals, but I don't know how you can hold on to your playoff hopes when you're losing back-to-back games to Miami and Cleveland.  Fortunately, few other teams in the AFC appear to like winning football games, either, so if they beat Pittsburgh at home this week, they're still in pretty good position. At least, as good a position as they can be for a team that lost to the Browns.

25. New Orleans Saints (1-4)
Last week: 26

Off this week.

26. Tennessee Titans (2-4)
Last week: 31

The Titans claimed to be better than their record, and while I don't know if they proved that with the win over the Steelers, it does create some separation, at least temporarily, between them and the unsightly dregs of the power rankings. Chris Johnson has had better than 90 yards and more than 4.8 yards per carry in two of his last three outings, for those of you holding on to some hope there.

27. Cleveland Browns (1-5)
Last week: 30

I don't know if I've ever heard a player's birthday mentioned so much in one day. Did you know that Sunday was Brandon Weeden's birthday? It was. He turned 29 years old, because it was his birthday, and that's what happens on birthdays. Also perhaps of interest: Weeden made some pretty big throws in the last 20 minutes of that game. What a great birthday present for him. Birthday.

28. Oakland Raiders (1-4)
Last week: 29

Just about all game predictions pointed to the Raiders pass defense getting shredded like a bucket of cole slaw against the Falcons, but that never happened. Matt Ryan was picked off three times, held under 250 yards and had a quarterback rating of 59.4. If the Raiders can maintain any of that, there's no reason they shouldn't be able to inch up the rankings a bit over the next few weeks. They get the Jaguars, Chiefs and Bucs in their next three. Oh, and if you happen to work with CBS Sports, and you can tell me who gets to call the Raiders/Jags game this week, please let me know. I'd like to send them a fruit basket.

29. Indianapolis Colts (2-3)
Last week: 20

It wasn't difficult to see a letdown coming after last week's #CHUCKSTRONG triumph ‒ getting absolutely throttled by the Jets, though, is indicative of more than a letdown. It's a letdown from a team that's young, growing and maybe not very good yet. Andrew Luck in particular had a rough game, but in his defense, it was against a defense that, even without Darrelle Revis, is still pretty tough on opposing quarterbacks.

30. Carolina Panthers (1-4)
Last week: 25

Off this week.

31. Kansas City Chiefs (1-5)
Last week: 28

The banner people got their wish, and you're not going to believe this, but Brady Quinn playing in place of Matt Cassel did not magically solve all the Chiefs problems. I know, I was surprised, too. The Chiefs are off this coming week, and then come back to the face the Raiders, renewing a rivalry every bit as exciting as the one between Jacksonville and Tennessee.

32. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-4)
Last week: 32

Off this week.

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