The Fantasy Freak Show Podcast: McFadden, Bradshaw and spacesuit-pooping

19 Oct
2012
by in General

Standing in line at the DMV, forced to endure two hours of at-work training, watching soccer, Week 7 in the NFL … What do they all have in common? They are examples of hell on earth.

With six teams on a one-week siesta this week, owners, even in 10-team leagues, are forced to dig deep.

On this week's comforting program, Brad Evans and Brandon Funston, equipped with helmet lights and pickaxes, unearthed numerous hidden gems to help you net a crucial win. At the top of the show, we discussed possible backfield reshuffling in New York (David Wilson or Andre Brown up?), followed up with a break down of all the sleepers and busts from each Week 7 game and told you what whether Larry Fitzgerald will boom or bust with John Skelton under center.

Too busy polishing your Ditka (Bobblehead, people, bobblehead!)? No problem. Listen to the replays below:

LISTEN TO HOUR 1 HERE

LISTEN TO HOUR 2 HERE


Tags: DMV, , , Podcast, , siesta,
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Aaron Rodgers blasts Shannon Sharpe’s ‘stupid’ and ‘uninformed’ criticism after dominant performance

17 Oct
2012

There was no doubt that before the Green Bay Packers laid the wood to the Houston Texans' top-ranked defense in a 42-24 road win on Sunday night, Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers had not been at his best. Green Bay's offense had been sporadic as a result, and Rodgers put the blame on himself more than anyone else.

"[I've] been making just some mistakes I'm not used to making," Rodgers told ESPN Wisconsin's Jason Wilde in his weekly radio show last week. "Throwing the ball to the other team — I've done that four times already. I'm fortunate [Chicago Bears linebacker Lance] Briggs dropped one against Chicago as well. Just uncharacteristic of the way I've played. [I've also] made some checks that have been unproductive, missed some throws I'm accustomed to hitting. Haven't played the way of the standard I've set."

Rodgers turned that around on Sunday night with one of the best performances of his career. Against a Texans pass defense that had been very tough for opponents to solve, he completed 24 passes in 37 attempts for 338 yards and six touchdowns.

Still, before that game, pundits were eager to analyze what was wrong with the defending NFL MVP, whether their analysis had any basis in fact or not. CBS's Shannon Sharpe led the charge with some pretty bizarre stuff in the network's Sunday pregame coverage.

Per Awful Announcing, Sharpe's comments before Rodgers' beatdown of the Texans:

"I think they have some deeper issues, but let's get to the surface issues right now. They can't run the football, so that puts a lot of pressure on Aaron Rodgers and that poor offensive line. Aaron Rodgers doesn't always do a great job of getting rid of the football on rhythm. So now he's taking some unnecessary sacks. But what I see is a lot of finger-pointing by Aaron Rodgers. I don't really know Aaron Rodgers, haven't been around him. But he strikes me as a guy that, it's always someone else's fault other than his own. I'm not so sure, I'm not so sure, that deep down inside, how well his receiving corps really likes Aaron Rodgers.

"I tell you what else, just because you're a great quarterback and an MVP quarterback that doesn't make you a great person. There is a difference between the two."

If there's one thing I've learned in the last 10 years of covering sports at any level, it's that if you are going to question the effort or character of any athlete, you'd best have either seen something yourself, or have talked to those around the athlete who don't have an axe to grind, before making such assertions. Sharpe's criticism of Rodgers goes far beyond the field, and as he said, he doesn't know Rodgers. Clearly, he was throwing stuff against the wall to see what might stick.

In his return to his show with Wilde, Rodgers fired back with the same accuracy he showed at Reliant Stadium:

"I didn't hear some of it until after the game, to be honest with you. In this country, I think freedom of speech is a very important part of our culture. That being said, anybody can have an opinion about anything regardless of how stupid it might be, or uninformed. There are often stories out there that have very little truth to them; that are based on feelings or images that you want to conjure up or situations that you think you understand when you really don't. I think more than anything this week, one reminder that [Packers head coach] Mike [McCarthy] and I talked about was just controlling the things that you can control. We've had a lot of adversity around here in my fifth year starting.

"And I think that's one thing that sometimes is easy to forget but it's a good reminder, that there's always going to be distractions and opinions and things going on that are outside of your control. In this case there was. It's easy to criticize. Maybe some of these people have been waiting to criticize us after the success we've had, whether they have personal vendettas against myself, or Mike or our team. A team failing that is supposed to win is a lot easier of a story to write than a team that's supposed to win that is meeting expectations. Teams that aren't meeting expectations and teams that aren't playing as well as pundits have picked them to be, it's easier to jump on them. It's the easy road for those people and they decide to jump on it."

Hopefully, Sharpe will provide a mea culpa this Sunday, and hopefully, he'll do it as loudly as he did when he was making stuff up.

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The Fantasy Freak Show Podcast: Replacement RBs, DMC and Honey Boo Boo

12 Oct
2012
by in General

Turnover in fantasy is a given. In this violent sport, any backup is one knee buckle away from relevancy. Last week, Cedric Benson, Donald Brown and Ryan Williams were bitten by the injury imp, paving the way for new point sources to emerge. How will their replacements perform?

On this week's prudent program, Scott Pianowski and Brad Evans delved into the Week 6 prospects of Alex Green, Vick Ballard and whoever the heck is going to carry the ball at a pedestrian pace for Arizona. Also, we revealed our sleepers, busts and Shocker Specials from every remaining game, played a game of over/unders and explained why Tony Romo is bound for a bounce-back.

Too busy shopping online for 'sexy' Halloween costumes? No problem. Listen to the replays below:

LISTEN TO HOUR 1 HERE

LISTEN TO HOUR 2 HERE


Tags: boo, Buckle, , , , , Honey Boo Boo, Podcast, Ryan Williams, Scott Pianowski, , , Vick Ballard
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Stan Van Gundy rips ESPN for allegedly pulling offer of TV gig, letting NBA ‘run [their] business’

11 Oct
2012

While we'd all love to see Stan Van Gundy stalking the sidelines for an NBA team this season rather than sitting at home after getting fired by the Orlando Magic back in May, most NBA fans have been very excited by the prospect of the famously irascible coach joining ESPN's "NBA Countdown" broadcast. The rumor, first reported last month by Sports by Brooks, that Van Gundy would add his strategic smarts and acerbic wit to a studio show that often seems like it could use more of both seemed inspired, and maybe too good to be true.

So it was kind of a bummer (if not a shock) to read Wednesday that an ESPN spokesman had told Jason McIntyre of The Big Lead that SVG and the Worldwide Leader "differed on potential assignments and we moved in another direction." While failing to come to terms with ESPN doesn't preclude Van Gundy from finding other TV work, the EJ-Kenny-Charles-Shaq squad at TNT doesn't seem to have much room for new blood and saddling up with Rick Kamla nightly on NBA TV doesn't seem like something the ex-coach would be too interested in (though I know Eric Freeman would love it). Less than three weeks left before Opening Night, this could mean no big-time national gig for Stan heading into the regular season, which would be disappointing for anyone interested in seeing and hearing more SVG (READ: any right-thinking individual).

McIntyre notes that ESPN is a broadcast partner of the NBA, with the network paying nearly $1 billion for the right to show NBA content, and wonders whether Van Gundy's longstanding frostiness (and, in more recent settings like this ESPN.com podcast, outright animus) toward NBA Commissioner David Stern had something to do with the scuttling of the deal. (Van Gundy's also had less-than-kind words for an ESPN personality in the recent past, too.)

It all seemed like the kind of inside baseball that media types find interesting, but doesn't really go anywhere after the fact. Except that, after the fact, Van Gundy did go somewhere — to "The Dan LeBatard Show" on Miami sports radio station 790 The Ticket, where (at about the 28-minute mark) he discussed the TBL report with his trademark tact, reserve and hahahahaha, no, just kidding, he broke out the napalm.

Van Gundy called the ESPN spokesperson's account "just a flat-out lie," said he hadn't gotten a straight answer on what happened "nobody there has the guts to say anything," and much more. From McIntyre's transcript of that portion of the interview:

"No one at ESPN will tell us what happened. Certainly the NBA office isn't going to tell us what happened. One of the quotes from ESPN in there — 'we had discussions, but couldn't agree on a role' ... as is usual, that's a bunch of BS from ESPN.

"We actually did agree on a role, but then they came back and pulled that. That's when we knew something was up. [...]

"What I find fascinating ... you have to give David Stern and the NBA a lot of credit ... ESPN pays the league, and then the league tells them what to do. It's more ESPN's problem. You gotta have no balls whatsoever to pay someone hundreds of millions of dollars and let them run your business."

Obviously, this is just one side of the story coming from the very specific perspective of a party who believes himself to have been wronged by one or two giant corporations. We've reached out to ESPN and the NBA for comment on Van Gundy's assertions, and will update this post if we receive any replies.

That said: Well, if there ever was a flicker of a chance that Stan Van Gundy was going to work for ESPN this season (and probably in any season for the rest of recorded time), that light has now likely been extinguished. Which stinks, because I was looking forward to seeing him play with the Magic 8-Ball like you wouldn't believe.

It's been pretty well established at this point that Van Gundy gives very few damns what most people in the world think about him, which is part of what makes him so entertaining; these comments to LeBatard certainly do nothing to damage that reputation. But as was the case with his public airing of the in-house dirty laundry surrounding Dwight Howard's alleged push to have him fired, there's something about this that seems like a counterintuitive professional move.

Sure, fans loved it when Van Gundy publicly humiliated his franchise star, revealed front-office confidences and shined a spotlight on locker room tension, but if you were a GM or president of basketball operations, wouldn't that kind of behavior make you think twice before handing him several million dollars a year to take the reins of your organization's primary product? Similarly, while an awful lot of people enjoy seeing ESPN poked and prodded this way, if you're someone who makes decisions on which commentators get paid well to regularly appear on national television to discuss basketball, wouldn't you have to really think about entering into talks with someone who has shown that, if things go south, he'll throw details of your negotiations out in public and drag your brand through the mud?

As a person, I'm all for honesty and fair dealing, and as a fan, I think it's awesome that Van Gundy marches to his own beat and (it seems) simply tells the truth as he sees it. But I'd be lying if I said I'm not starting to think of stuff like this as sort of unprofessional, and if I'm thinking that, then I'm betting there's at least a chance that a lot of the people who could actually pay Stan to do lucrative NBA-related work are thinking it, too.

If what Van Gundy's saying is true, I wouldn't blame him for being mad at ESPN for pulling out on the deal; if he's right that Stern or the NBA office in any way had its thumb on the scale, I wouldn't blame him for being furious (and I'd also be pretty pissed at the league for kiboshing something that tons of fans would love over some contentious comments). But lashing out like a scorned lover about it seems like a bad way of handling one's business, and as someone who'd really, really like Stan Van Gundy to be around the league as long as humanly possible, that worries me a bit.

Tags: , broadcast, , Kind, , , , ,
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Stan Van Gundy rips ESPN for allegedly pulling offer of TV gig, letting NBA ‘run [their] business’

11 Oct
2012

While we'd all love to see Stan Van Gundy stalking the sidelines for an NBA team this season rather than sitting at home after getting fired by the Orlando Magic back in May, most NBA fans have been very excited by the prospect of the famously irascible coach joining ESPN's "NBA Countdown" broadcast. The rumor, first reported last month by Sports by Brooks, that Van Gundy would add his strategic smarts and acerbic wit to a studio show that often seems like it could use more of both seemed inspired, and maybe too good to be true.

So it was kind of a bummer (if not a shock) to read Wednesday that an ESPN spokesman had told Jason McIntyre of The Big Lead that SVG and the Worldwide Leader "differed on potential assignments and we moved in another direction." While failing to come to terms with ESPN doesn't preclude Van Gundy from finding other TV work, the EJ-Kenny-Charles-Shaq squad at TNT doesn't seem to have much room for new blood and saddling up with Rick Kamla nightly on NBA TV doesn't seem like something the ex-coach would be too interested in (though I know Eric Freeman would love it). Less than three weeks left before Opening Night, this could mean no big-time national gig for Stan heading into the regular season, which would be disappointing for anyone interested in seeing and hearing more SVG (READ: any right-thinking individual).

McIntyre notes that ESPN is a broadcast partner of the NBA, with the network paying nearly $1 billion for the right to show NBA content, and wonders whether Van Gundy's longstanding frostiness (and, in more recent settings like this ESPN.com podcast, outright animus) toward NBA Commissioner David Stern had something to do with the scuttling of the deal. (Van Gundy's also had less-than-kind words for an ESPN personality in the recent past, too.)

It all seemed like the kind of inside baseball that media types find interesting, but doesn't really go anywhere after the fact. Except that, after the fact, Van Gundy did go somewhere — to "The Dan LeBatard Show" on Miami sports radio station 790 The Ticket, where (at about the 28-minute mark) he discussed the TBL report with his trademark tact, reserve and hahahahaha, no, just kidding, he broke out the napalm.

[Related: LeBron James' agent being investigated by NCAA]

Van Gundy called the ESPN spokesperson's account "just a flat-out lie," said he hadn't gotten a straight answer on what happened because "nobody there has the guts to say anything," and much more. From McIntyre's transcript of that portion of the interview:

"No one at ESPN will tell us what happened. Certainly the NBA office isn't going to tell us what happened. One of the quotes from ESPN in there — 'we had discussions, but couldn't agree on a role' ... as is usual, that's a bunch of BS from ESPN.

"We actually did agree on a role, but then they came back and pulled that. That's when we knew something was up. [...]

"What I find fascinating ... you have to give David Stern and the NBA a lot of credit ... ESPN pays the league, and then the league tells them what to do. It's more ESPN's problem. You gotta have no balls whatsoever to pay someone hundreds of millions of dollars and let them run your business."

Obviously, this is just one side of the story coming from the very specific perspective of a party who believes himself to have been wronged by one or two giant corporations. We've reached out to ESPN and the NBA for comment on Van Gundy's assertions, and will update this post if we receive any replies.

(UPDATE: An ESPN spokesperson said, "We reaffirm our previous statement" — in which they'd "had discussions with Stan Van Gundy and were interested in a role for him," before differing on assignments and deciding to go another way — "and have no further comment." An NBA spokesperson also declined to respond to Van Gundy's claims.)

That said: Well, if there ever was a flicker of a chance that Stan Van Gundy was going to work for ESPN this season (and probably in any season for the rest of recorded time), that light has now likely been extinguished. Which stinks, because I was looking forward to seeing him play with the Magic 8-Ball like you wouldn't believe.

[Related: Dwyane Wade ditches Jordan Brand for little-known shoe company]

It's been pretty well established at this point that Van Gundy gives very few damns what most people in the world think about him, which is part of what makes him so entertaining; these comments to LeBatard certainly do nothing to damage that reputation. But as was the case with his public airing of the in-house dirty laundry surrounding Dwight Howard's alleged push to have him fired, there's something about this that seems like a counterintuitive professional move.

Sure, fans loved it when Van Gundy publicly humiliated his franchise star, revealed front-office confidences and shined a spotlight on locker room tension, but if you were a GM or president of basketball operations, wouldn't that kind of behavior make you think twice before handing him several million dollars a year to take the reins of your organization's primary product? Similarly, while an awful lot of people enjoy seeing ESPN poked and prodded this way, if you're someone who makes decisions on which commentators get paid well to regularly appear on national television to discuss basketball, wouldn't you have to really think about entering into talks with someone who has shown that, if things go south, he'll throw details of your negotiations out in public and drag your brand through the mud?

As a person, I'm all for honesty and fair dealing, and as a fan, I think it's awesome that Van Gundy marches to his own beat and (it seems) simply tells the truth as he sees it. But I'd be lying if I said I'm not starting to think of stuff like this as sort of unprofessional, and if I'm thinking that, then I'm betting there's at least a chance that a lot of the people who could actually pay Stan to do lucrative NBA-related work are thinking it, too.

If what Van Gundy's saying is true, I wouldn't blame him for being mad at ESPN for pulling out on the deal; if he's right that Stern or the NBA office in any way had its thumb on the scale, I wouldn't blame him for being furious (and I'd also be pretty pissed at the league for kiboshing something that tons of fans would love over some contentious comments). But lashing out like a scorned lover about it seems like a bad way of handling one's business, and as someone who'd really, really like Stan Van Gundy to be around the league as long as humanly possible, that worries me a bit.

Related video from Yahoo! Sports:

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Tags: broadcast, Kind, , , , Related,
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Deron Williams chose Nets over Mavs, in part, because Mark Cuban chose taping a reality show over meeting with him

09 Oct
2012

The most sought-after player available in this summer's NBA free agency sweepstakes was Deron Williams, a 28-year-old three-time All-Star point guard who was set to hit the open market in search of both a max-level contract and the opportunity to compete for an NBA championship. As the horse race neared its conclusion, the two teams in the lead for Williams' affections were widely considered to be his prior employer, the Brooklyn (formerly New Jersey) Nets, who could offer him the most money, and his hometown team, the Dallas Mavericks, who could offer him the chance to pair with former MVP and champion Dirk Nowitzki (who wanted to play with D-Will badly).

As we know, the Nets crossed the finish line first, inking Williams to a five-year, $98.8 million contract to serve as the foundation of the new franchise being built to occupy Barclays Center. But the Mavericks did have a shot with Williams, and in fact met with him in person ... albeit without their chief negotiator at the table, as owner Mark Cuban missed the meeting due to a scheduling conflict: taping an episode of his reality show, "Shark Tank," in Los Angeles.

As our own Eric Freeman wrote at the time of Cuban's decision to miss the Williams meeting, while the Mavs' owner certainly had other means of communicating the Mavs' vision for the future to Williams — as we know, Cubes is down for Internet and mobile communicatin' (Cuban later said that the two did text one another) and as we learned, Deron's way down with tablet culture — "it would surely seem sensible for [Cuban] to be present for such an important meeting as the Mavericks try to set themselves up for future success." More to the point: What if his absence in any way influenced Williams away from Dallas?

[Related: Tracy McGrady finalizing deal to play in China]

As it turns out, according to Nets beat man Howard Beck at the New York Times, that's pretty much exactly what happened:

Asked if Cuban's absence affected his decision, Williams said flatly, "Of course."

Williams added: "A lot of the questions that me and my agent had for them really didn't get answered that day — you know, pertaining to the future. And I think if he was there, he would have been able to answer those questions a little bit better. Maybe would have helped me."

The Mavericks' main representatives that day were the team president Donnie Nelson and Coach Rick Carlisle. Williams, 28, said he was most concerned about what Dallas would do once the 34-year-old Nowitzki retired. Those were questions that only Cuban could fully answer, he said.

Williams said the message he received from Nelson and Carlisle was, instead, "Just trust their track record."

"I can honor that, because they do have a good track record. But it's not enough for me to switch organizations, especially when Billy was updating me daily," Williams said, referring to Nets General Manager Billy King.

As Capital's Howard Medgal noted, that constant contact was King's crowning achievement in the Williams negotiation. I mean, being able to say "we can offer you $25 million more than they can" and actually mean it is pretty important, too, but making sure the primary object of your affections knows that he is, in fact, the primary object of your affections seems like a pretty sound strat.

Cuban, of course, said after the fact that he thinks the Mavericks as presently constituted are "in better position now than we would've been if we'd gotten him," owing to the fact that not tendering another max deal afforded Dallas the flexibility to plug multiple holes in the offseason with the likes of Chris Kaman, Elton Brand, Darren Collison, O.J. Mayo and Dahntay Jones. In the radio interview in which he made that comment, though, as Tim Bontemps of the New York Post wrote, Cuban did acknowledge that his presence might have made a difference:

"Maybe [it would have helped to be there], you know, because I always think I can close a sale," Cuban said. "But, in hindsight, I don't know if I would have been happy."

In the end, the Mavs are likely a deeper, more versatile and more flexible team than they would have been had Cuban "closed the sale." But if Dallas again finds itself floundering without another legitimate scorer and playmaker to take the pressure off Nowitzki in big games late in the season, as was the case when the Mavs fell in the first round of last year's postseason to a more potent and more multifaceted Oklahoma City Thunder team — knocking another year of Nowitzki's stellar career and facing the future without an in-his-prime top-flight point man in the fold — it'll be easy to wonder if Mavs fans, or even Cuban himself, will be happy with the outcome.

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Tags: , Deron Williams, dirk nowitzki, Mark Cuban, Mavs, , , , , ,
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Answer Man: Gio Gonzalez talks getting traded, Cy Young, Strasburg shutdown and the Chevy Geo

06 Oct
2012
by David Brown in Fantasy Baseball, General

It is likely that no major leaguer has more fun being a major leaguer than Gio Gonzalez of the Washington Nationals. Yes, he won 20 games for the team with the best record in the league and is a leading Cy Young contender in the NL. But beyond that, his excitement, passion and happiness shines through in seemingly everything he does, and it rubs off on appreciative teammates. Maybe it comes from humble pro beginnings when Gonzalez got traded around so frequently he wasn't sure if he was coming or going. Well, Gonzalez is settled now, and he (sort of) stood still long enough recently for the latest Answer Man session.

David Brown: The White Sox drafted you and traded you to the Phillies. Not long after, the Phillies traded you back to the White Sox. Not long after that, the White Sox traded you ... to the A's. Do you think, if the White Sox had send you back to the Phillies just one more time, they would have perfected whatever it was they were trying to do?

Gio Gonzalez: They were just playing keep away with me between those two teams. You know what? All said and done, what they did for me was give me an opportunity. The White Sox was the first team I cherished because they took a chance and drafted me. The Phillies was another opportunity, a learning curve being 20 years old playing at Double-A — which, from what I've heard of their history is rare to do. There's so many positive things, that I try to look at a glass as half-full.

[More: Josh Hamilton's likely farewell to Rangers ends with trail of boos]

As a person, at the time it was, like, "Man, why are you traded so much?" But the names I was traded for were big-name guys, and I wasn't a Bryce Harper, 19-year-old phenom. I still had time to grow. At 19, I was still figuring out how to throw a fastball. Speaking on that point, I needed to grow up and that's what happened. I had to come to terms with it. I understood it. I didn't get mad. I thanked them every day. And the team I really want to give my heart out to is Oakland, which gave me an opportunity to be in the big leagues. That's the team that gave Mike "Rizz" a chance to see me pitch and perform. But I was always trying to keep a smile on my face, because life is rough. Why make it harder?

DB: This is you talking now, but back then it must have been harder to understand.

GG: Absolutely, but I'm 27 now. But things happen for a reason and Oakland was an opportunity for me to grow up and hit a wall.

(Teammate and one-time Answer Man subject Edwin Jackson comes by with an iPad, showing video highlights and stills of a game they pitched against each other.)

Edwin Jackson: That was the game, G!

GG: That's right, me and you. E.J. dominated that game. Jesus.

Edwin Jackson: Haha. I looked up and I said, "Who is that? Is that Gio? [Peeved] off at his teammates!

GG: Haha.

(Mark DeRosa, another Answer Man veteran, comes by.)

Mark DeRosa: He asks crazy questions, man. Head's up.

GG: I have to tell Dave to make sure not to do that. But … what were we talking about?

DB: Learning curve?

[More: Questionable infield fly rule call mars MLB playoff opener]

GG: Yeah, Oakland let me hit a wall, but kept pushing me to mature. And I think what Billy Beane did for me, trading me over to the Nats, he told me: "I put you in a great situation. A great spot." And now that I can sit back and I'm sitting here talking about it, he is above-average in the way he thinks.

DB: Can you believe how much pitching the A's have lost, but still have, and are 20 games over .500?

GG: Oh, I 100 percent believe it. Trust me, I've been down there. I've been where … they grind. For every pitcher there, it seems like you're pitching for a job to lose. There was never a break. Never anything easy. That's why I tried my hardest to stay in shape, to work out harder and try to not get hurt. It's crazy how one little situation happens and you can get out of that rotation in a week. And your name gets passed on after that.

DB: OK, speaking of DeRosa and his left-field questions. In "Moneyball" there's a scene where the David Justice character wants to buy a can of soda pop and it costs a dollar. Is that machine still in the clubhouse and has the price gone up?

GG: No, no, no. I think it's Hollywood. When I was there, I loved all the clubhouse guys. Steve Vucinich, the equipment manager. Nick Paparesta, the head trainer. The way they treated all of us was like royalty. They took care of us. Young kids who were still in school, they worked. And we had opponents come in and talk to us about how hard the clubhouse guys worked. We appreciated that kind of stuff. Maybe there were harder times before my time there, but they treated us like royalty.

DB: The other day when you fell down, you said something to Ryan Zimmerman that cracked him up. What happened?

GG: Zim and (Adam) LaRoche came up to me and they go, "Are you all right?" And I said, "No, man, I'm hurt right now!" And LaRoche goes, "What happened?!" And I go, "My pride is shattered!" Hahaha. That's exactly what I said. Z-Man didn't hear that part, so he came closer and asked if I was all right, and I said: "No, I'm freaking embarrassed!" And he was dying laughing. As soon as everyone got off the mound, I tipped my cap to the fans. It was just the icing to the cake to the day. When you're going for your 20th, make sure to make yourself look like an ass!

[Y! Sports Fan Shop: Buy Washington Nationals division champs merchandise]

DB: Experts say that the NL Cy Young race will come down to R.A. Dickey and yourself. How effective is your knuckleball?

GG: Haha. I couldn't throw a knuckleball if my life depended on it. What he's doing is remarkable. I have nothing but respect for the guy. To do what he's doing, at his age, and he's one of FIVE in the world. We can't talk about Cy Young too much out of respect for the game and for the opponent, but when it's said and done, after all the voting, he's putting on a show. And I'm trying to put on a show too for our team. I think we do it not only for us, but for the fans. This is what you guys pay to see.

DB: Did the rookies look better than you expected when they dressed as teen gymnasts?

GG: Ha! Hehe. Oh, man. They should have done a little floor dance, some tumbling. What do you call those things with the ribbon? Rhythm gymnastics. The little wand thing, some baton twirling. I remember my rookie hazing. It wasn't fun. And with mine, they had a team photographer for that. Nowadays, technology has taken off.

DB: What did you have to dress up as?

GG: I had to do it three times. I was dressed up as a "Yodelay! Girl." And the next one was a Teletubbie. And then as a heavy-set Hawaiian chick. You'll never forget your rookie hazing, I know that for a fact.

DB: A Yodelay! Girl?

GG: Yodelay. Blond hair, a strap here. Beer mugs. The Ricola chick. Riiiiiicola! Swedish chick.

DB: Is there anything about Bryce Harper that would surprise people?

GG: He does things that people, the only thing they can do is pick their jaws up off the floor. The way he plays is out of this world. He's a kid that's enjoying life. Everything he does feels like it's one step ahead of the game. The energy never stops. He's got a never-die mentality. That's the way you're supposed to do it. He comes brand-new to the field every day. Imagine when he has a couple more years under his belt.

DB: Does Davey Johnson tell good stories about Dwight Gooden, Darryl Strawberry, Kevin Mitchell and the '86 Mets.

GG: When he has a microphone and speaks up, yes. Most of the time he whispers, so you try to pick up what he says little by little. But he's very motivational. He tries to bring out the animal in you. That's why I have nothing but love and respect for him.

(We walk toward the manager's office. Gio sticks his head in.)

GG: Davey's principal of the office, a guy you want to kick some ass for.

DB: But does he bring up a lot of examples from that '86 Mets team? That was the team when I was a kid.

GG: He doesn't really, because this is a new team that needs new motivation. He's trying to build up confidence for us, and he doesn't really use others as examples. If you get to the point where you have to go that far back, it's almost like, "Turn the page already."

DB: You know him as well as anyone. How is Stephen Strasburg handling not playing?

GG: He's such a competitor, it kills him every day to see that we're out there and he wants to be out there and be a part of it. And he is a part of it. He doesn't understand. We want him out there. He knows that his team feels for him. We want the best for him. He's done so much for us. That's 15 games that he won for us, where we could be back. Those 15 games, an All-Star, he represented D.C. to the max. What else could a guy who came back from Tommy John possibly do? To have an opportunity to have pitch alongside him, he's a superstar. With an arm like that and the mindset — the way he thinks — he's only going to get a higher ceiling. Pretty soon, he's going to be playing in a league of his own. He's such a competitor. We all are, and we vibe together. It's a great combination. I think what you're going to see out of Stras is something most people can only dream of having. Superstar status.

DB: So how do you let him know that he's still on the team even though he's inactive?

GG: Just keep him a part of it. He comes and hits (batting practice) with us. He still throws with us. He still stretches with the guys. He's still one of us. Nothing's changed from that standpoint. I feel he's trying to be more at peace now. I think he's trying to be enjoying this moment. He's trying to have fun. But at the same time, you can see he wants to grab ball. He wants to pitch. And it kills him every day. But we all know the situation. I don't want him around just for this season, I want him around for the rest of his career.

DB: Who on the Nats would make the best cage fighter for Jayson Werth's homemade league? What about Mike Morse?

GG: "Mikey Mo," yeah, is a huge guy. But if you're looking for an aggressive kind of guy, one that would throw you off, I'd go with Chien-Ming Wang. Big guy. He's come with that Taiwanese on you.

DB: Is that a martial art?

GG: I think so. He's quiet but deadly. My bets are on him.

DB: Should every player be made to wear Tyler Clippard's goggles for protection and style?

GG: Who's that guy with the hammer?

DB: The Sledge-o-Matic? Gallagher?

GG: Gallagher! Sprays watermelon all over the show. Those glasses are pretty cool. My opinion: If you got style, I think he's pulling it. He's got swag with those glasses. When they fog up, it's pretty hilarious. He gets to wiping them. He's got the Mo Vaughn look. He's awesome, man. What he's done for us, it's been the key to our success in the bullpen. He can wear any glasses he wants. If he wants to wear Elton John's glasses, then go ahead. He's still a bad-ass in the bullpen.

DB: Does your dad still own the scooter store down in Miami?

GG: No, thank God. I would have lost him at an early age. My dad was getting gray hair and he almost had a heart attack. It's such a stressful job and it didn't hit him until a year into the business but he said (about me), "I want to travel, I want to see him play baseball." I was grateful that the Nationals family and Mike Rizzo to give me an opportunity to sign right away and take care of my family. And now he has an opportunity to do that.

DB: Do you still have your scooter collection?

GG: Haha. I think we want to keep that under wraps, because it's in my contract — there's no more scooter-riding me. (Gonzalez does air quotes for emphasis:) "No scooter-riding for me!" If you've ever ridden one, it's an exciting ride. You've got to be careful. You can't be a lunatic driving the streets, like a bat out of hell. No one's going to hit you that way.

DB: Is D.C. a good place, with easy driving conditions, for scooters?

GG: Exactly. D.C. is NOT the place to ride a scooter. You want to ride somewhere it's open with a lot of room to move.

DB: Your dad is first-generation American?

GG: My dad was born and raised in Jersey. His parents were Cuban and my mom was born in Cuba. I'm Cuban-American, everybody says. I have a Cuban background, Cuban blood. I was born in Hialeah, Fla. — which is also known as "Cuba." It's a little piece of Cuba that has floated away and stuck to Florida. I try to represent my culture and family and the last name — Gonzalez. It matters. It's an honor to represent a Latin culture.

DB: You curious about the island, the old country?

[Also: Dusty Baker back on familiar ground]

GG: My dad went and visited and he said it's beautiful in the tourist section, but a little rough around the edges. It kind of humbles you, makes you want to appreciate the things in life you have. I still have family down there, and my mom does — cousins and stuff — other than that, you appreciate life visiting places like that.

DB: Do you remember the Chevy Geo automobile?

GG: Haha, yeah. Oh, yeah. A Neo-Geo. I remember those.

DB: Did you want one?

GG: Absolutely not! I remember when I started off, my first car was a Kia Specrta. With a spoiler kit and some rims.

DB: How big?

GG: Like 18 inches. We painted it red. We went all out. That's the time "The Fast and the Furious" was coming out. It was definitely not fast and definitely not furious. It was more like a shopping cart. It's all for show. I'm definitely not a "Fast and a Furious" guy. I'm more like "Diamond to the back, sling to the right. Good to go."

DB: There's got to be something you can do to make Teddy win a race!

GG: Spike his juice. Tranquilize the other guys. Shoot 'em with a dart. That's the best we can do. I've gotta go stretch!

[Editor's note: Teddy won the last race of the season.]

Follow Dave on Twitter — @AnswerDave — and engage The Stew on Facebook.

* * *

Previous Answer Men (and Woman):

2012 • Mike Trout • Nelson Cruz • Nomar Garciaparra • Josh Reddick • Andrew McCutchen • Aaron Boone

2011Pete Rose Stephen Bishop Orel Hershiser • Will Rhymes • Logan Morrison • Billy Beane • Luke Scott

* * *

2010 • Goose Gossage • Jayson Werth • Troy Tulowitzki • Heath Bell • Billy Williams • Joe Mauer • Nyjer Morgan • Charlie Manuel • Fred Lynn • Bucky Dent • Gary Carter • Matt Stairs • Vin Scully

* * *

2009 Shane Victorino • Carlos Pena • Jay Bruce • Joe Nathan • Joe Maddon • Joakim Soria • Joey Votto • Tom Glavine • Adrian and Edgar Gonzalez • Chris Volstad • Paul Konerko • Edwin Jackson • Mark DeRosa • Tim Lincecum • Dave Righetti • Pedro Martinez • Denard Span • Cal Ripken

* * *

2008 • Hunter Pence • Justin Morneau • David Wright • Erin Andrews • Andy Van Slyke • Derek Jeter • Bob Uecker • Bert Blyleven • Torii Hunter • Joba Chamberlain • Larry Bowa • Zack Greinke • Kerry Wood • Huston Street • Josh Hamilton • Milton Bradley • CC Sabathia • Mike Mussina • Jason Bay • Cole Hamels • Ron Santo • Francisco Rodriguez • Ryan Dempster • Evan Longoria

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The Fantasy Freak Show Podcast: Norv Nonsense, Hartline love and Philly phonies

05 Oct
2012
by in General

First there were Lucifer's Shanahanigans. Now enraged owners, spurned by irrational coaching decisions, have to deal with Norv's nonsense.

On this week's insightful program, sleuths Brad Evans and Dalton Del Don  attempted  to solve San Diego's backfield mystery. Additionally, our fearless investigators combed over the remaining Week 5 slate, uncovering their sleepers, busts and Shocker Specials from every remaining contest. Also, is the market ripe to sell high on Michael Turner, Andy Dalton and Brian Hartline? We told you.

Too busy watching Liam Neeson blast would-be kidnappers? No problem. Listen to the replays (or download them here) below:

LISTEN TO HOUR 1 HERE

LISTEN TO HOUR 2 HERE

Tags: , , , , Fantasy Freak Show Podcast, Hartline, mystery, Norv Nonsense, , Podcast, Shanahanigans, Shocker Specials,
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Could NHL replacement players break the NHLPA?

02 Oct
2012

Sending in the scabs would be the nuclear option for the National Hockey League and its owners during the 2012-13 lockout.

It was a tactic that was discussed back in the 2005 work stoppage, but the talk was about beginning the following season with replacement players. The scabs weren't seriously entertained as a way to break the union during the eventually cancelled 2004-05 campaign.

But might that change this time around?

Former Toronto Maple Leafs assistant GM and NHL insider Bill Watters has been sounding on the alarm on replacement players for weeks. On Josh Rimer's "Nitecap" show Monday night (video here — 17-minute mark), Watters fleshed out his scab theory — describing it as one way Gary Bettman could fracture the union.

[Nicholas J. Cotsonika: Last chance for NHL, NHLPA to strike best deal for both sides]

"Don't be surprised if that pops up if we're still talking about this on the 15th of November or Thanksgiving," he said.

Could it work?

From Rimer's show, Watters said:

"I thought, well, what can Bettman do? It's not so much that he'll get replacement players. Simply, they have a reserve list of 50 players — 23 of whom play in the National Hockey League, and 27 of whom are available to play, either as American League Players or juniors.

"They won't get any from Sweden, I doubt, because they're under contract. But if in fact they have players over there under NHL contracts, they will come. Then you have free agents from this past season, and then you will have those players that are now in the NHLPA, and they're in the last year of their contract. They'll have to sit down with their wife and their family and say, 'What do I get out of this if I serve out my time and miss another year?'"

"I think the potential of people crossing the line is significant. And that's what the whole game is about: Bettman is going to hope to crack the union. And as soon as Fehr notices a crack — and he'll hear it, because it'll be significant — he's going to sit down and negotiate a deal. And if Bettman doesn't get the response that he wants, he's going to have to change his gameplan, and go for another year's lockout.

"With that, Bettman will be gone, for sure. Donald Fehr will end up with nothing. And they'll have to continue during the summer of next to settle a deal. I just don't see that happening. I see a settlement of some description coming in December."

"It's the only option Bettman will have when he postpones the Michigan game."

We previously covered the replacement player issue here. Basically, the owners would be gambling that fans are so hockey starved that they'll swallow anything that looks like te NHL; that the logo on the front will trump any of the random names on the back; that sponsors, media partners and other groups will treat a scab season like it matters; and that the move would, in fact, break the union.

A few weeks back, it seemed completely implausible that a fan would accept a replacement player in their favorite team's sweater. Today, there seems to be more backlash against the players — see the Krys Barch affair. But would it be enough to convince fans to pay for an inferior product as a protest vote?

The bigger question: Would scabs bloody the League's reputation so much that they wouldn't be worth the trouble?

Ask Donald Fehr.

In 1995, Major League Baseball tried to crack Fehr's union with replacement players. Fehr was undaunted by the threat, telling the SF Chronicle at the time:

"You will see perhaps a vanishingly small number that will go in. Those that do, I think, will tend to be players who have concluded they have no major-league career. That is to say, they can't get there on their own. They may have the opportunity to play in a major-league stadium, but I don't think anybody's going to confuse it with a major-league game."

Remember: The 1995 replacement players plan by MLB featured respected managers like Sparky Anderson refusing to coach them. There's no telling what the backlash might be from the hockey world.

Especially after sports fans witnessed the inferior, chaotic and embarrassing spectacle of scab referees in the NFL. Do we really need ESPN's nightly critique of pedestrian, amateurish hockey?

But to the essential question: Would this break the union?

You'd no doubt see some players cross the picket line, mainly those players without contracts at the moment. But even then, will the hundred or so players in Europe be compelled to return? And would the fans even give a scab league a glance?

We're guessing "no" on both counts. And hoo boy, just want for the Canadian media to chime in if and when the Stanley Cup could be awarded to a bunch of replacement players.

Fantasy Football video from Yahoo! Sports:

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Chris Bosh is now calling himself “Random Guy”

01 Oct
2012

In 2010, when the Miami Heat introduced LeBron James and Chris Bosh alongside Dwyane Wade with the pomp of a political convention and/or planetarium laser show, it was popular to call the group a Big Three set of stars. In their two seasons together, though, a hierarchy has developed, with James standing as clearly the best of the bunch and Wade becoming a secondary (yet still super) star. Bosh, however, has become something very different from what he was in Toronto: a very important player to everything the Heat do, but not the sort of player who controls the ball or needs a certain number of shots. He's more like an All-Star who just happens to be a role player.

[Marc J. Spears: Kobe calls Lakers his most talented team ever]

Bosh seems to have accepted this role, because he's able to gain fame while also doing pretty cool things like winning championships and hanging out with second-tier recording artists. At Heat Media Day, Bosh even unveiled a new nickname to reflect his new reality. From Joseph Goodman for Heat Check (via SLAM):

Bosh is calling himself the team's "Random Guy" based on the fact that he scores his points from random places.

"I'm still getting used to the offense," Bosh said. "I always watching film to see what I should have done and what I could have done. What I can do better. Where my shots can from. Because I'm the random guy. I don't get any plays called for me, but the public will never know that."

I am always suspicious of people who give themselves their own nicknames — it's forcing a personality when ideally they develop naturally. This one seems to fit, though, particularly when you consider the possible superhero tie-ins. Can't you just imagine the Heat video board showing Bosh in a totally nondescript costume (muted grey and taupe makes for a not-at-all striking color scheme) while lecturing the crowd on important principles like not making a fuss and blending in with the crowd? That's as inspiring as anything I've ever heard.

[Fantasy Basketball '12: Play the official game of NBA.com]

In the past, Bosh has been known as "CB4," which worked decently until he moved to Miami and switcher his jersey to No. 1, and various imprecise monikers like "The Guy Who Kind of Looks Like a Lizard." Against those competitors, "Random Guy" sure does stand out.

Really, as long as we're giving out nicknames based on on-court roles, we might as well start calling Mario Chalmers "The Whipping Boy." Has anyone in NBA history been yelled at more regularly?

Fantasy Football video from Yahoo! Sports:

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