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Here's a picture of Gary Sinise from Rangers Ballpark on Wednesday night. From the looks of it, the CSI:NY star just finished a 12-week run as Hamlet, kicked a field goal across the street to Cowboys Stadium or delivered the greatest first pitch in the history of baseball.

In reality, Sinise is thrusting his arms skyward in the type of self-deprecating mock celebration that's only possible when you throw out one of the worst first pitches in baseball history. You know, the kind that immediately hits the ground and dribbles off to a dugout, making it look like you've never seen a baseball game, let alone stepped on the mound.

Check Sinise's pitch out in the video below:

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Yep, as Timothy Burke of Deadspin quipped, Lt. Dan apparently has no right arm either.

While it may not have been as bad as the one we saw from Cincinnati's mayor a few years back, Sinise's unintentional sinker has to rank up there on list of bad first pitches. And I have to say that it's a little bit disappointing, given that he grew up in the Chicago area and cut his acting chops at the city's famous Steppenwolf Theatre. You'd think he would have found time to play a little 16-inch softball out, or at least a little catch, in Lincoln Park between shows.

Then again, Sinise is on the list of noted Cubs fan. Which perhaps explains everything.

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Now that we know Will Rhymes of the Tampa Bay Rays is OK, the following video isn't quite so scary. It's still off-putting, though:

Whoa! Answer Man down, Answer Man down! There's no fainting in baseball! It's funny, now, that when trainers asked Rhymes to tell them his name, he said, "I'm Batman." Here's a guy with a sharp mind on his shoulders.

But in the moments after Rhymes' legs fell limp and he collapsed into the embrace of coach George Hendrick, speculation on Twitter abounded. He was hit on the arm, not on the head or thorax — so what happened? Did the major bruise cause a circulatory problem? Had he broken a bone and gone into shock? What gives, (other than his legs)?

Well, Dr. skipper Joe Maddon had a diagnosis after the game: Adrenaline rush. When the juices get flowing, it can work against you too, apparently.

''He got kind of rubber-legged right there,'' Maddon said. ''That stuff hurts. I know it's in the arm, but that can definitely take your breath away. It was described to me as kind of an adrenalin rush that caused that reaction.''

X-rays were negative and the team said Rhymes is day to day with a bruised right forearm.

Phew. Rhymes had put a scare into everyone, especially pitcher Franklin Morales of Boston, who threw the pitch. Via the Twitter of Brian MacPherson of the Providence Journal:

"That scared me. ... I feel bad for him. I'm going to call him and talk to him. I want to know he's fine."

Now, just tell us that you'll never faint again, Rhymes:

"I got to first and started getting real dizzy, nauseous. That's when I started walking off. And then, apparently, I didn't get real far."

He's laughing about it. Good for Rhymes. In our society, perhaps in any society, it's supposed to be embarrassing when men faint. No crying, no fainting. Not allowed. Even for short guys such as Rhymes. Perhaps the example Rhymes is setting will allow oppressed male fainters across the world to rise up (with some assistance from their first-base coach) and say, "Yes, I fainted. What about it?"

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Because he is 49 years old, nearly everything that Jamie Moyer does for the Colorado Rockies on a Major League Baseball field seems newsworthy. But any pitcher who manages to drive in two runs with an infield single more than deserves the special attention coming his way.

Moyer legged out a perfectly placed (even if by happenstance) 80-foot hit Wednesday night, evading a diving Paul Goldschmidt of Arizona on his way to first base and benefiting from the head's-up and legs-moving baserunning of Dexter Fowler for his first two RBIs of the season. Moyer also pitched great at Coors Field, allowing a run and six hits over 6 1/3 innings to lead the Rockies to a 6-1 victory.

Take a bow, old dude. And a breath. Take two, even.

It's hard to tell from the video clip because the Rockies TV broadcast paid too much attention to the blond lady in the stands (who I assume is Moyer's wife), but Moyer appeared to get the benefit of the doubt by the umpires on Goldschmidt's tag attempt. And he was lucky his hit dribbled into no-man's land between Goldschmidt and pitcher Patrick Corbin, who hesitated just a bit in committing to covering the bag at the moment of truth. And that Fowler was running hard with two outs (which he should do, but you never know) and was fast enough to make it home. It was actually quite an accidental conspiracy that the play turned out as it did.

After working the count to 2-2, Moyer squirted the ball off the end of his bat.

''I thought it was going to roll foul,'' Moyer said. ''And I feel like I hesitated just a little bit, and then ... as I was running down the line, I saw the pitcher stop and the first baseman, I think he picked it up and he was going to throw it to the pitcher and then he realized the pitcher wasn't (covering the bag).

''So, then it became, I guess, a slow crawl to first base.''

Moyer said he didn't feel Goldschmidt tag him, though slow replays (get it — slow?) that he got brushed with Goldschmidt's mitt before he stepped on first base. But getting the benefit of the doubt happens when everybody hustles.

Fowler said Moyer's the one who should be commended.

''I was more shocked that Moyer beat it out,'' Fowler said. ''The guy was hustling. He was hustling, himself. ... He's a bulldog. The guy never quits.''

Considering that he's been playing in the majors since 1986, quitting is literally the last thing anyone should expect from Moyer. Will he ever?

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ANAHEIM, Calif. (AP) The Los Angeles Angels' new hitting coach was probably wondering what all the fuss was about during his first game in the dugout.

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) Adam Jones turned his night around with a swing of the bat.

DENVER (AP) Jamie Moyer handcuffed the Arizona Diamondbacks at the plate and in the field.

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. (AP) A scary situation involving Tampa Bay second baseman Will Rhymes overshadowed another strong outing by Rays right-hander Jeremy Hellickson.

ARLINGTON, Texas (AP) Expectations for Yu Darvish were every bit as big as the contract he signed to move from his native Japan.

SAN DIEGO (AP) Chase Headley was more pleased with a two-run double against left-hander Chris Capuano than he was with surpassing his home run total from last season.

TORONTO (AP) Brett Lawrie heard the penalty, then expressed just one regret about his tantrum: that his batting helmet bounced up and hit an umpire.