ST. SIMONS ISLAND, Ga. (AP) -- Winning on the PGA Tour is what Tommy Gainey dreamed about when he held a job wrapping insulation around hot water tanks, when he was playing more mini-tours than he can remember, when he was taking part in a Golf Channel reality series where he was best known as the guy wearing two gloves.
During the Washington Redskins' 27-23 loss to the New York Giants, the water table worker did the heroic work of saving the freshly poured cups of water when confronted with Robert Griffin III running out of bounds. See his handiwork here.
We turn now to the inner dialogue water boy (water man?)
"Finally. I have the table completely full with cups of water. I want to make sure the Redskins are fully hydrated. This game is huge, right? Huge. I, for one, am not not going to be responsible for the dehydration of any Redskins player. My table is full. I can keep everyone refr--OH NO RGIII!!!!!!
Phew."
The Giants sealed the game with a late touchdown and forced fumble, but one person the Redskins cannot blame for the loss is the heroic waterboy. Bravo, sir.
With 2012 being an Olympic year, we've already seen the Summer Games reflected in baseball's annual rookie hazing when the Washington Nationals turned Bryce Harper and his young pals into the Fierce Five. Now the Texas Rangers have gotten in on the act with their young'uns doing their best Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte impersonations as they made their way to Oakland for the important final series of the regular season.
Two notes: Jurickson Profar and his water buffalo look make it seem like he'd fit in flawlessly with Fred Flintsone and Barney Rubble. Also, those water-floaties really would have come in handy had the Rangers plane needed to make an emergency water landing.
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Left-hander J.P. Howell of the Tampa Bay Rays made what manager Joe Maddon called an "impossible" play to retire Colby Rasmus on a broken-bat blooper into no-man's land. Few other pitchers could have pulled it off, Howell said, because they don't regularly wrestle with his pet Portuguese water dog, Rosie. Naturally.
Howell's play to get Rasmus helped the Rays escape the seventh inning with a one-run lead in what became a 3-0 victory against the Blue Jays on Sunday. And if Howell doesn't get Rasmus, who was about to drive in a runner from third base, who knows?
''That's the play of the year,'' Maddon said after the Rays' fifth straight win. ''It's an impossible play to make and (Howell) did it.''
With a runner on third and two outs, Rasmus got jammed severely and busted his bat, but the ball traveled — seemingly — into no-man's land among three fielders on the first-base side of the pitcher's mound. Rasmus was going to get a single out of it. With nobody else in range to make a play, Howell charged and tracked down the ball and, falling toward right field, made an off-balance throw that first baseman Carlos Peña barely had to move his mitt for in order to catch.
A right-handed pitcher definitely has a harder time making that play, and no pitcher should be expected to pull it off. But J.P. did, and some of the credit goes to Rosie Howell, who apparently is her owner's best workout partner:
''I wrestle with my dog a lot so that's good; it gets me that angle to just throw it,'' Howell said. ''The position guys do it all the time so I probably made it look harder than it really is. It's one of those things where the timing was good; if the guy's a little faster he beats that out so everything worked out. A little luck was included.''
The dog is absolutely adorable, as this Fox Sports video demonstrates:
Before this season, Howell's career had been somewhat in doubt after years of injuries and diminished effectiveness, but the Rays have stuck with him and he's performed well out of the bullpen. Rosie stuck with Howell, too. That's what dogs do.
Pitchers and hitters will argue 'til the end of time, at least until Bud Selig retires: Do the line drives that get caught even out with the bloopers that fall in? The answer might lie in some kind of wizardry The Fangraphs Kids publish, so in the meantime we'll have to decide on a case-by-case business. Howell, with the help of Rosie the Portuguese water dog, enacted some justice on the part of his fellow pitchers.
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One of the things that earned Bruce Bowen a reputation as one of the NBA's chippiest (and some, even former teammates, might say flat-out dirtiest) defenders over the course of his 13-year NBA career was his penchant for sticking his foot underneath an opposing jump shooter after contesting a shot so that, when the shooter came back down to the floor, he ran a serious risk of stepping awkwardly on Bowen's foot and turning his ankle (or worse). The practice was at the heart of a November 2006 Sports Illustrated feature on Bowen, in which most executives interviewed said they didn't think the eight-time All-Defensive Team selection was intentionally trying to hurt opponents with dirty pool.
No one questioned whether Bowen had done it in the past, but intent — that was the key. If you did it by accident, people could get over it; if you did it on purpose, though ... well, that's the kind of thing that might lead then-New York Knicks coach Isiah Thomas to tell his players, "Next time he does that, break his [EXPLETIVE] foot."
And with that, we come to "The Jalen Rose Show," a podcast on ESPN.com's Grantland Network in which the Fab Five member talks shop and spins yarns from his playing days with producer Dave Jacoby. In a clip from the show released Tuesday through Grantland's new YouTube channel (the same outlet that gave us the stellar documentary on Houston Rockets rookie Royce White's draft-day experience), Rose reiterates that not sticking your foot under a shooter is basketball's "No. 1 unwritten rule" ... and then relates a story of when, as a member of the Indiana Pacers, he himself did it on the sport's biggest stage.
"NBA Finals, 2000," Rose says. "Kobe. Bean. Bryant. Goes up for a jump shot on the right wing, I contest the jump shot, Kobe lands on my foot. He hobbles off, and he actually misses the next game."
Rose is talking about Game 2 of the 2000 Finals. After getting drubbed by the Los Angeles Lakers by 17 points in Game 1 thanks to a monster Shaquille O'Neal performance (43 points on 21-for-31 shooting, 19 rebounds, four assists and three blocks in 44 minutes), the Pacers were hanging with L.A., playing to a 28-all tie after the first quarter. Then, in the second quarter:
Bryant played just nine minutes in Game 2, which the Lakers went on to win by seven, but as Rose says, he missed Game 3, which Indiana won 100-91 to get back into the series at 2-1.
"Now, if it was up to me? If it was up to me? He should've just missed the whole series," Rose says. "I would've had a championship ring, and it'd be no harm, no foul."
"Did you purposely put your foot underneath him when he landed?" Jacoby asks. "Don't lie to me. Jalen, don't lie to the people."
"... I think I did it on purpose," Rose says.
"You think you did it on purpose? You won't even cop to it?" Jacoby responds. "You won't even say, 'Yes, I did it.' 'I think?'"
"... I can't say that it was an accident," Rose replies.
[Also: Metta World Peace has shocking goal for Lakers]
Rose goes on to note that he got his karmic desserts in the form of Kobe dropping a pepperoni-fueled 81 on Rose and the Toronto Raptors some 5 1/2 years later. He does not note that Kobe also meted out some justice after coming back for Game 4 of the 2000 Finals, scoring 28 points — including 22 after halftime and an overtime takeover — to push the Lakers to a 3-1 series lead, then came up with 26 points, 10 rebounds, four assists, two blocks, one steal and just one turnover in 45 minutes to help close the series out in Game 6, winning his first NBA title at the age of 21.
A dozen years later, Bryant's got four more rings (five total) and is angling for an M.J.-tying sixth with a heavily reloaded Lakers squad, Rose is a successful media personality who's also done good work founding a charter school in his native Detroit, and everyone's moved on. It's all water under the bridge, or over the dam, or wherever it is you prefer to put water, one would would suspect. Still, though, given the nature of the transgression and the high-stakes situation in which it was committed, it struck Jacoby as curious that Rose and Bryant haven't had beef for years.
"How has that not soured your relationship with him now?" Jacoby asks. "Because I know you guys are cool."
Turns out there's a really simple explanation for that.
"He never knew I did it on purpose," Rose answers. "But now he does."
Luckily for Jalen, Kobe Bryant's not the type to hold a grudge.
...
Um, actually, Jalen, you might want to watch your back, dude. Maybe call up Dale and Antonio Davis and see if they've still got your back. Or at least Rik Smits. If nothing else, he can spirit you away from the Mamba on one of his custom dirt bikes.
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