The Vent: Protesting the lockout by cheering harder for the Leafs, partying

18 Oct
2012

THE VENT is a forum for rants, raves, pleas and laments from hockey fans across the world about the NHL lockout. It runs every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. If you've got a take on the lockout and need to let it out, email us at .)

Wouldn't it have been nice if this feature came to an end today? It was a nice thought, but it didn't, so here are some thoughts that aren't quite as nice.

Ryan F. won't sit idly by and do nothing. He's got a brand-new protest: he will only watch Toronto Maple Leafs from here on out. It's kind of like a hunger strike, but with more suffering, I guess.

I'll keep this short. So here we are once again. The NHL season is supposed to be underway but alas it is not. You know, the last couple of weeks fans like me have been told how we can stop this lockout. I've seen people and even hockey media suggest I unfollow the NHL/NHLPA on social media sites, stop buying tickets/merchandise or even stop being a hockey fan altogether. I'm not going to do any of those things. I am not naive enough to think that I could have any effect on ending this lockout. I am going to do something though, not from pressure but simply based on what I feel.

You know the old saying "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." I was willing to let the last lockout slide because I was told it was necessary to fix the systemic problems with the league. I bought that and boy was I dead wrong. How else would we be back here once again? I live in Toronto where like so many people I live and breathe the Maple Leafs. My father is a Leafs fan and my grandfather was too. I watch every game on TV that I am capable of viewing and through winning and losing (mostly losing), I support them. I try and get out to a couple games a year at the ACC but usually I cannot afford tickets. Remember in the last lockout when you claimed we would have lower ticket prices under a new agreement? Again, you won't fool me twice.

Look, I'm always going to be a Leafs fan until the day I die. I will continue to watch every Leafs game I can whether they return in 2012, 2013 or 2014. But here's what I will not do. I will not be watching other NHL games. I won't be watching Calgary vs. Edmonton or Detroit vs. St Louis. I'm done with that. Instead I'll be watching the NFL, MLB, NBA and heck even the AHL. This is not a threat or a form of protest. This is simply the reality of taking your fans for granted. It doesn't matter how big or small your role is in this. Whether you are Gary Bettman or Donald Fehr, Sidney Crosby or Shawn Thornton you have reduced a former NHL fan into just a Leafs fan. Stop posturing and negotiate like civilized people who have influence over the lives of so many who are hurt not only emotionally but financially but this lockout. You know them right? They are the broadcasters, writers, bars, mascots and concession workers. I believe there are a lot of people who share my sentiment and that's not good for anyone. Time to grow up and do what is right. Drop the puck.

Angela H. also cooked up a unique way to protest the lockout. A party.

To mourn the loss of opening night, some of my hockey friends and I had a F#%k the Lockout Party this past weekend. Beer, nachos, classic Bruins games on the TV, and A LOT of bitching.

My amazingly talented friend Stephanie brought over this cake, and I just had to share it.  It pretty much says it all!

Pro-tip: If your protest involves cake, you're protesting the right way.

And finally, Nicole H. wants to do something, but she doesn't know what to do but share with us her despair:

I first fell in love during the summer of 2003 while paying a visit to my Midwestern relatives. I had lived my whole life (to that point) unaware I was related to die hard hockey fans. Then I sat down to watch a playoff game with my Pépère, and found myself instantly hooked.

I picked up right where I left off the following season, determined to learn all I could. Having just moved to the DC area I became a Caps fan (which, given my timing, was both a show of incredible dedication and stupidity). I have bled black and bronze/red, white, and blue ever since. I count down the days till prospect camp, then rookie camp, then training camp. Between the league and third party ticket sites I pay huge mark ups to see the occasional game on my teacher's salary (if only I would take the player's advice and just get a better paying job). I came back after the first lockout, even though I had barely had any time to invest myself in the sport. But this time is different.

I can't say I am giving up forever- that would be ridiculous. And I am still a hockey fan- I bought AHL Live in anticipation of the worst to get me through the winter. But my heart just doesn't feel in it for the NHL right now.

My husband tells me I'm nuts and maybe I'll feel different the moment the improbable actually happens. But for now all I want to do is stick it to the NHL and NHLPA. But how? I'm thinking "opening night" boycott. Wouldn't that be nice to see the fans say "screw you, we'll come back when WE are good and ready". But alas, hockey fans are well dressed crack heads. So I will be left with the ability to do little more than sit in the corner like a petulant child till I feel like I've made my point. That always works out well...

Tags: , , , , Maple Leafs, , protest, ,
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Chase Power Rankings: Have the Big Three become The Big Four?

15 Oct
2012

The fifth race of the Chase is over, and that means it's time for Power Rankings! But we're doing things a little differently now that we're in the postseason. It's all-Chasers, all the time. Good job, good effort for those of you that didn't make it, but we've got bigger fish to focus on. We'll be judging who's running well, considering not just finishing position but quality of run, expected potential, and general gut feelings. As always, we hate your guy and are biased against him. Now, enjoy.

Oh, and as for last week's attempt at Mafia names for our favorite drivers ... let us never speak of that one again. Every race season has an Auto Club Speedway, right?

1. Denny Hamlin: This top spot is likely to rotate among the Big Three, and perhaps the Big Four, over the next few weeks. Right now, we're giving the nod to Hambone over Vader, but only by a hairsbreadth. This very easily could have been a big victory for Hamlin, and #11 fans should be pleased with the fact that he didn't seem to enjoy his second-place finish very much. Last week: 3.

2. Jimmie Johnson: Another week, another outstanding run from Johnson. Last year, we were all falling over ourselves at how amazing it was that Carl Edwards was finishing so high week after week. Now we've got three guys doing it. Johnson took the wise approach to fuel management on Saturday night; if he'd run out, he'd have a much higher hill to climb. Last week: 2.

3. Brad Keselowski: Sure, he falls out of the top spot here, but he's still running the show points-wise. This makes next week a key for Keselowski: you can afford to have an off week, but you need to be able to rebound immediately or you're going to get passed like you lost the draft. Last week: 1.

4. Clint Bowyer: Rawhide's rise is one of the more notable efforts of the season, and it'd be a shame if he doesn't get himself into the top crew here in the next couple weeks. Also: his press conferences are joys of (perhaps) Five-Hour-Energy-filled energy. Last week: 5.

5. Kasey Kahne: Decent run for Mr. Kahne at Charlotte, but we all expected a lot more out of him. Eighth place is not enough, sir! Anyway, his chances at a Cup are fading fast, but he's already turned a previously horrid season into a success. Last week: 6.

6. Martin Truex Jr.: True story: Truex wants everyone to mean HIM when they refer to "Junior." (May not be a true story.) Also a true story: this will never happen. But MTJ is establishing his good name all by himself. Last week: 9.

7. Jeff Gordon: Looks like the dream is about over for Jeff. Here's hoping that there's some kind of change in the points system (heresy!) in order to prevent one bad finish from decimating your entire season. Last week: 4.

8. Greg Biffle: All right, good to know that Biffle is starting to validate that first-place regular-season finish. Barring some lost haulers en route to a track, Biffle won't be in this hunt. Still, he's the class of the Roush squad this year. Last week: 12.

9. Matt Kenseth: Um, no offense with that "class of Roush" crack in the Biffle entry, Matt. You done good by winning Talladega, of course, but it's been a tough road these last few months. Hopefully your five-race swan song will go well for you. Last week: 10.

10. Tony Stewart: It's been a rocky Chase all the way around for Mr. Stewart, with the Talladega Monstrosity being the worst of a rough go. But he's getting sponsorship lined up for 2013, which has to be a big relief. Last week: 8.

11. Kevin Harvick: Sooner this season is over the better for Harvick fans. Nothing's working well enough, but nothing's going bad enough for a wholesale change, either. Well, at least he had himself a kid, so the year's not a total wash. Last week: 11.

12. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Salute to Junior for taking the tough path to stepping out of the car this year. Not like he'll miss out on Vegas; the "most popular driver of the year" always ends up there anyway. Last week: 7.

Non-Chaser of the Week: Carl Edwards. Good to see Carl running strong this week. Shame he wasn't able to earlier this year, but if history is any guide, he'll be right back in the mix in 2013.

All right, you're up. Who belongs where? Have your say!

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Darko Milicic’s 2012-13 game plan: ‘If I have to go kill someone on the court, I’ll kill someone on the court’

01 Oct
2012

Boston Celtics backup center Darko Milicic left home at age 15 to play professional basketball in order to earn money that his family desperately needed. As a Serb growing up in a war-torn community, Darko's sense of tact was probably formed out of that brutal upbringing, and it's possible that his development was both rushed in some areas, and arrested in others. Toss in the pressures created by being selected ahead of Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Carmelo Anthony, and even Kendrick Perkins in the 2003 draft (just a week after he turned 18), and you have a pretty combustible sort with a quick temper and massive chip on his shoulder.

Signed by Boston last month for (say it with me, as you have with the last few teams) probably be his last NBA chance, Milicic is bringing that live wire act to a team already full of them. His will come in only about seven or eight minutes a game, if that, but at least he's on record as telling the press he'll go WAY further than Kevin Garnett (even if he's come close), Rajon Rondo, or Jason Terry would ever cop to.

Here's Darko, from CSN New England, via Pro Basketball Talk:

"I'll do whatever it takes, whatever I need to do to help this team. So now, if I have to go kill someone on the court, I'll kill someone on the court."

You'd think that someone that grew up around, y'know, actual death would give pause before going this far. Even if English is Darko's second language. Milicic didn't seem to mind. He'll kill ya.

Probably not. None of this is meant to be taken literally, but these sorts of pronouncements become bigger than their figurative meaning for three reasons:

1). Don't talk about killing dudes, duh.

2). Darko Milicic's nearly decade-long NBA status as a joke, of sorts. Possibly entirely as a joke. We're just trying to give pause before we pounce.

3). Darko Milicic's rather violent history. He may have only played less than half a game, on average, in a career that has seen him sit nearly half the games his five different NBA teams have appeared in, along with a sporadic international career in the offseason, but we've never seen anyone rip a jersey off in frustration on their way to the bench after being lifted from a game. And we've never heard a NSF-Serbian-W outburst like this.

The first part is a shame. The second part is a complete and total shame, because Darko has the size and athleticism to have both served as a near-dominant force defensively and a creative scorer and passer on the other end were it not for myriad of influences; with his iffy motivation serving as the strongest.

The third, admittedly, could just serve as a series of missteps along the way. Missteps that, frankly, are much more passable than Andrew Bynum or Tyreke Evans' dangerous driving habits, or less worrisome than Chris Kaman's government-legal firearms obsession (even if Kaman isn't breaking any laws).

Darko may have just lost it a few times, and then cobbled together an unfortunate choice of words while attempting to tell local press (this is the most prestigious uniform he's ever played for) that he's ready to do whatever it takes to earn his spot on the championship-contending Boston Celtics.

Or, he might try to do terrible things to Tyler Hansbrough's Gatorade. Only the upcoming 2012-13 season, and the garbage time that stems from it, knows.

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The Vent: Locked out military NHL fans; 200 things we love about hockey

30 Sep
2012

THE VENT is a forum to rants, raves, pleas and laments from hockey fans across the world about the NHL lockout. It runs every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. If you've got a take on the lockout and need to let it out, email us at .)

Our first rant comes from reader Timothy, a military man that's sickened by the lockout:

As a member of the US armed forces, I am greatly disappointed over the NHL's decision to pose a lockout on its players this year.  These people are fighting over a few percentage points in a revenue split that adds up way more than I make risking my life defending my country.  I'm not angry over the fact that greed has taken over intelligence in this matter. What bothers me is the potential of not having an NHL season when I return from my tour of duty in the Middle East.

Even before the lockout was imposed and became a topic of my daily life, I fully realize that this was going to already be a shorten season for me.  Furthermore, I have done accepted the fact that the first month or two of the season will be missed due to my career and inability to watch games.  What I don't like is a shorten season (if there even is one) because of revenue. This is not a game changing formula affecting how the players play, or a new division structure in which team rivalries may be gone for good. It's only about money, and money I'm willing to spend if there is hockey in time for Christmas.

The NHL doesn't realize how bad it is affecting its fan base here.  I for one will be deeply affected if there is no season.  I am already coming home to an empty apartment in which the girlfriend left with the dog, it will be winter so there is little in terms of outdoors activities to do, and the Steelers look like they are on their way to a poor football season.

So what's left? Well, as of right now it's not hockey.

So my homecoming this year after defending my country will be to sit around in a silent apartment with no interesting sports on during what is now looking like the worst time of the year.

Thank you very much NHL GMs and owners for locking out the players.  Thank you very much NHLPA for being thick headed and not starting the CBA talks earlier at the owners' request. I am left coming home to nothing but basketball. This by the way is not on my top sports list.

Our men and women in the Armed Forces are not risking their necks to come home and watch flippin' basketball. For shame, catalysts of the lockout. For shame.

Matt Painter would like to thank Gary Bettman for his lockout. Because it made him love hockey again:

Hi Mr. Bettman,

I am a lifelong hockey fan who is having a decidedly different experience with the lockout than the general fan.

I am in my 30s with a household income above 200k, likely your target demographic. I tend to spend a couple of thousand dollars a year on the NHL between tickets, jerseys and the center ice package.

With the birth of my daughter a few years ago, I have gotten fairly lazy and just enjoy hockey by watching the NHL games. With this most recent lockout, I have been forced to find other ways to get my hockey fix. I have taken the same money that I would have spent on your league and invested it in my local hockey rink, joining a rec team.  I haven't played in years and I am loving every second of it.

Your lockout has showed me that being a loyal hockey fan doesn't have to mean sitting on the couch and watching your games religiously. I am getting back into shape and growing an even deeper love for hockey. Frankly, if the NHL were not to come back at all, it wouldn't spoil hockey for me or many other fans.

I hope you are able to work something out before too many of your die hard fans find alternative hockey outlets either through local leagues or following international leagues. These are not the same times as the mid nineties or even the early 2000s, the fans and players will find other avenues in this increasingly global world.

Best of luck ...

Great stuff, Matt. And we imagine he's not alone.

Musical Interlude: Here's Hockey Sock Rock, going where only Bloge Salming has gone before, with a Gary Bettman-ized "Mama Said Lock You Out!"

Reader Jennie Ryan Luptak is pretty angry with the work stoppage, and wonders if anyone behind it remembers why we love the Game.

In fact, she's given us close to 200 reasons why we do love the game:

Does anyone remember why we love hockey? Not the NHL, not #theplayers, not #BoycottBettman — the game. I was so angry at everyone involved in the lockout that I forgot for a while.

But then I walked into a rink to catch a rec league game (because it's hockey) and it was so cold. That's a stupid observation, on the face of it — of course it's cold, it's an ice rink. But in the big, austere NHL arenas, you don't feel it like you do in the old barns. You don't get the smell of the cold or feel the slight searing in your lungs when you take a deep breath.

And then I remembered. Like a scene out of some bullshit coming-of-age movie, I remembered watching the games in high school, and the usher who let my brother and I sneak up to the glass at the Civic Arena, and the time my dad gave our spare tickets to a total stranger who was trying to take his son to his first hockey game.

Those are the reasons I love the game.

These are the reasons you love hockey. Wysh and Sean and Alyonka and Harrison and Lambert — you guys (and a bunch more) wrote these during the hockey-less summer months:

1987, 1972 Summit Series, 1981-82 O Pee Chee Hockey Cards, 1987 Canada Cup, 1987-88 New Jersey Devils, 1990-91; 1991-92, 2008-2009, 1995 Stanley Cup Championship, 1995-96 Colorado Avalanche, a clean sheet of ice, April-June 2006, Athleticism, Backyard Rinks, Beer, Blades of Steel, Bobby Orr, Bonding with dad, Broad Street Bullies, Bruins vs. Canadiens, Canada, Celebrations, Charity, Charles Schultz, Chicago Blackhawks logo, Chicago Blackhawks' red sweater, Chicago Stadium, Chicago's National anthem tradition, CIS hockey, Clark Gillies/Dave Schultz fight on national TV, Clean ice, College hockey, Cooperalls, Dad, Defensive forwards, Dome, rod, slot or whatever-you-prefer-to-call-it hockey, Don Cherry, Don't have to watch ESPN. Drinking in the glory, Dynamo Moscow.

EA Sports NHL Series, Empty-net goals, End-of-playoff series handshake, Family, Fans and players, Fathers and sons, Female hockey bloggers, Fighting, Five minutes for fighting, Fresh ice, Frozen ponds, Game 4, 1992 Stanley Cup Finals against the Pittsburgh Penguins, Goalie masks. Growing up with the game, Gump Worsely, Habit, "Here Come the Hawks", Hersheypark Arena, Hockey as the red-headed step child of the sports world, Hockey blogosphere, Hockey books, Hockey cards, Hockey fans and hockey rivalries, Hockey gives life a purpose during the winter, Hockey hair, Hockey history, Hockey holidays, Hockey in HD, Hockey in South Florida, Hockey jerseys, Hockey movies, Hockey Night in Canada, Hockey people, "The Hockey Show", Hockey sweaters, Hockey video games, Homer announcers, Hoser, How the players hone their skills, How the players interact with fans.

I'm Canadian, Ice girls, International hockey, Jersey collecting, Jerseys, John Davidson, Lake Placid, Line combinations, Locker room antics, Maple Leaf Gardens, Mario Lemieux, Max Talbot, Memorial Cup Final, Mike Lange, Minor league hockey, Miracles, Moms and sisters who love hockey, Mr. Hockey, My brothers, Nassau Coliseum, National anthems, NHL 94, Nicknames, Not being part of a hoard, Passion, Patrick Roy, People who can't see the puck, Playing pond hockey, Playoff hockey , Pure athleticism and coordination, Rink burgers, Rivalries, Road trips, Roch Carriere's "The Hockey Sweater", Rod Phillips.

Sean Burke v. Mark LaForest, Section 326/Row 12/Seat 11, Seeing your team win the ultimate prize, Shot blocking, Singing the Canadian national anthem, Skating, Skating with the Winnipeg Jets, "Slap Shot", Snoopy's (Redwood Empire Ice Arena), Society for International Hockey Research, Sons and fathers, Stick tapping, Street hockey, Sudden-death overtime, Terry O'Reilly, That old garage door, The arena experience, The breakthrough, The brotherhood, The camaraderie, The community, The fans, The feeling you get when you step out onto a fresh sheet of ice, The good kind of "Ting!", The Hartford Whalers, The hat trick, The hate, The heart, The hockey code, The human story, The ice surface, The Indian-head sweater, The Islanders' four Stanley Cups, The Jets/Oilers rivalry, The Kamloops Blazers and junior hockey, The Mario vs. Gretzky argument, The Miracle on Ice, The Moments, The New York Islanders, The New York Rangers, The NHL 2K Franchise, The old Adams Division, The one-timer, The pace and drama.

The Patrick Division, The penalty kill, The people you meet, The personalities, The players , The puckhead passion, The roller coaster of "oo's" and "aahs", The San Jose Sharks, The short-handed goal, The sights and sounds, The simultaneous bench pop-up, The sounds of the game, The speed of the game, The Stanley Cup, The Summit Series, The trade deadline, The truth, The underdog status, The uniqueness of the sport, The videogames, The voices, The Winnipeg Jets, the Minnesota North Stars, Quebec Nordiques and, Hartford Whalers, The Wives Room, The world of hockey, Tie Domi knocking out Ulf Samuelson, Tournaments, Tradition, Trash talk, Twitter, UC Davis Ice Hockey, Wendel Clark punched Marty McSorley in the face, Winning the Stanley Cup, Zambonis …

A lot of those are NHL-specific, but a lot more aren't — family, fathers and sons, fresh ice, frozen ponds.

The hate. The heart.

I'm not saying don't be mad. Be mad as hell, especially if Alfredsson and Selanne hang them up before one last go-around. Be mad that owners are handing out $98 million contracts while crying poor. Be mad that fans can exert no real pressure on the NHL or the players' association, that we can't end the lockout.

Just don't be so mad that you forget to go skate.

Can't believe she left out Jack O'Lantern smiles, the Golden Seals and Bruce Boudreau's cheeks. Inexcusable! (But seriously, great list.)

Finally, here's a perfect representation of the NHLPA's difficulties in trying to rally fans, using a 2-year-old eating pizza:

Tags: , , , Ice, , rink,
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Pavel Datsyuk scores a goal off his head, because his magic can’t be locked out (VIDEO)

24 Sep
2012

Not long after the lockout began, Pavel Datsyuk joined Alex Radulov on CSKA Moscow. It was a shame to see him head home, especially when Red Wings' training camp was supposed to be getting underway, but frankly, the best thing Datsyuk can do for CBA negotiations is continually remind everyone the lockout robs from us: his wizardry.

On Monday, in a game versus Avangard Omsk, Datsyuk put some of that wizardry on display, scoring a goal by heading the puck into the net, soccer-style.

After his shot from the slot is stopped, the puck jumps into the air. Datsyuk tracks the puck into the crease, waits for it to fall, then throws his helmet into it. The fact that he has the presence of mind to track his rebound through the air and throw a helmet into it, rather than waving at the puck with his stick and having the goal waived off for high-sticking is remarkable.

Sadly, the goal was waived off anyway, perhaps because they hate awesomeness in Russia.

The NHL may be locked out, but if there's one thing you can't lock out, it's Datsyukian magic. It just oozes out of him, like Play-Doh from the Fuzzy Pumper Barber and Beauty Shop playset. (Yes, that thing was called the "Fuzzy Pumper". It was a simpler time back then.)

s/t to Dmitry Chesnokov.


Tags: Alex Radulov, Avangard Omsk, cska moscow, goal, , , , pavel datsyuk, Pumper, Radulov, , , Wings
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Pavel Datsyuk scores a goal off his head, because his magic can’t be locked out (VIDEO)

24 Sep
2012

Not long after the lockout began, Pavel Datsyuk joined Alex Radulov on CSKA Moscow. It was a shame to see him head home, especially when Red Wings' training camp was supposed to be getting underway, but frankly, the best thing Datsyuk can do for CBA negotiations is continually remind everyone what the lockout robs from us: his wizardry.

On Monday, in a game versus Avangard Omsk, Datsyuk put some of that wizardry on display, scoring a goal by heading the puck into the net, soccer-style.

After his shot from the slot is stopped, the puck jumps into the air. Datsyuk tracks the puck into the crease, waits for it to fall, then throws his helmet into it. The fact that he has the presence of mind to track his rebound through the air and throw a helmet into it, rather than waving at the puck with his stick and having the goal waived off for high-sticking is remarkable.

Sadly, the goal was waived off anyway, perhaps because they hate awesomeness in Russia.

The NHL may be locked out, but if there's one thing you can't lock out, it's Datsyukian magic. It just oozes out of him, like Play-Doh from the Fuzzy Pumper Barber and Beauty Shop playset. (Yes, that thing was called the "Fuzzy Pumper." It was a simpler time back then.)

s/t to Dmitry Chesnokov.


Tags: Alex Radulov, Avangard Omsk, cska moscow, goal, , , , pavel datsyuk, Pumper, Radulov, , , Wings
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Opening Time: Streaming for Wednesday, and beyond

11 Sep
2012
by in General

Most of the Wednesday streamers will get a shot to pitch twice next week, so let's take a long audit of them. I'm ranking them here only for their Wednesday turn, however.

To make this list, your current Yahoo! ownership tag has to be 55 percent or less.

Infinite Joy
Ervin Santana vs. OAK
Clayton Richard vs. STL
A.J. Griffin at LAA
Matt Harvey vs. WAS
Paul Maholm at MIL

Ah yes, Santana, removed from the restricted list. He struck out 10 Tigers in his last turn, and he's posted five useful starts in a row (34 IP, 22 H, 11 R, 9 BB, 28 K). Although his home ERA is a bloated 4.58, there's been some bad luck and sequencing factored into that. The home WHIP is a manageable 1.06, and batters are hitting just .210 off Big Erv at the Big A. Is that enough for you to take the plunge?. … Milwaukee is third in home OPS and second in OPS against lefties, so Maholm isn't getting anything easy on Wednesday. But the weakness of this card keeps him in the top group. … This is the penultimate turn for Harvey; he'll face the Phillies next week, then shut it down for the season. … It's a shame Richard doesn't have strong strikeout numbers, but his Petco Park resume is very useful nonetheless: seven wins, 2.76 ERA, 1.07 WHIP. Let's hear it for the former University of Michigan clipboard holder

Temporary Joy
Travis Wood at HOU
Alex Cobb at BAL
Homer Bailey vs. PIT
Miguel Gonzalez vs. TB
John Lannan at NYM
Trevor Cahill vs. LAD
Aaron Harang at ARI
Gavin Floyd vs. DET

Pittsburgh's offense hasn't been anything special since the break, ranking 20th in runs and 22nd in OPS. It's a shame Bailey doesn't draw them on the road; he's been a 2.75/1.11 ace away from Cincinnati this year, but the numbers jump to 5.36 and 1.56 in the Queen City. … Cahill's season has been tidy on the road (2.91/1.13), but it falls apart at home (5.33/1.58). Next week is no fix, as the Snakes are home for three with San Diego, then travel to Colorado. … Beware the Orioles at Camden Yards, where their OPS jumps 77 points. Baltimore is eighth in home scoring, but just 26th in road scoring. … Floyd is coming back from an elbow injury and hasn't worked six innings since the middle of August, which means a short appearance is likely. … Why do we start "anyone against the Astros," you ask? Pretty simple. Houston ranks last in runs, average, and OPS since the break. They have out-homered the Indians and Giants, however.

Infinite Jest
Kevin Millwood at TOR
Aaron Cook vs. NYY
P.J. Walters vs. KC

At least Millwood is getting the Jays at the right time, with all those big names on the DL. But I'd rather wait for better streamables later in the week. … Cook has no strikeout juice whatsoever, not to mention he's toiling for a club that's just about packed it in.

Infinite Whip
Luke Hochevar at MIN
Fernando Abad vs. CHC
Ricky Romero vs. SEA
Jeff Francis vs. SF
Jeanmar Gomez at TEX

Francis figures to get lifted after about four innings, so there's a cap on the damage he can do. But it doesn't take long for things to get out of hand in Colorado. … The Royals need to refocus the Hochevar experiment, see if he can make something work in the bullpen. He can't be trusted as a starter.

Tags: , , Infinite, Infinite Joy Ervin Santana, , Kevin Millwood, , Paul Maholm, , , ,
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Watch some of the world’s greatest athletes screw up TD celebrations!

09 Sep
2012

Modern NFL tight ends are among the best athletes in the world. They're massive but still incredibly nimble and as explosive as receivers who weigh 60 pounds less than them.

San Francisco tight end Vernon Davis put up some of the most incredible numbers ever seen at the NFL scouting combine, including a 42-inch vertical leap, yet he also turned in one of the most embarrassing celebrations of Week 1. After a great touchdown catch against the Packers, he went to dunk the football over the goal post … and got absolutely stuffed.

Davis wasn't alone in his shame. New England tight end Rob Gronkowski scored a touchdown against the Titans and wound up for his regular super spike celebration. And he lost the ball.

Not much fiesta there, Gronk.

The goal posts and stadiums had a full offseason to prepare for all these spiking tight ends. Good to see they're fighting back.

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Tags: celebrations, dunk, inch, Modern, , , , , , , Vernon Davis,
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Dolphins get a flight delay after their plane bumps into another plane

30 Aug
2012

It was bad enough for the Miami Dolphins that they traveled to Dallas and got the tar whooped out of them by the Cowboys, losing 30-13 in their preseason finale.

"The only good news is this part's over. We have to move forward," head coach Joe Philbin said afterward.

Not so fast, coach!

The Dolphins then headed to their team plane, trying to shake off the shame of an 0-4 preseason, but they couldn't even get home on time.

According to Armando Salguero of the Miami Herald, the team's charter plane backed into another plane on the runway in Dallas, and the Fins had to take another plane home.

"It rocked the entire plane," Dolphins broadcaster Joe Rose, who was on the plane, said on his WQAM radio show Thursday morning. "It was totally crazy. I just couldn't believe it."

Dolphins quarterback Matt Moore said on Twitter that the team didn't get back home until after 8 a.m. on Thursday.

[Related: Tannehill gives reasons to believe Dolphins have stability at QB]

We can't wait to see this on the season finale of "Hard Knocks." According to Rose, the NFL Films crew was on the plane and shot the entire debacle.

A few of the best Dolphins player tweets from NFL.com's Gregg Rosenthal:

"There were no issues with anyone on board -- it just delayed our arrival back to Ft. Lauderdale by about two hours," a Dolphins spokesman said in an email.

Oh, and then, there's this. From poor Andy Kent, the Dolphins' Internet writer:

The Dolphins will have to head back to Texas in time for their regular-season opener against the Texans on Sept. 9. Think good thoughts, fellas ...

Fantasy advice from the Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Minute:

Other popular content on the Yahoo! network:
• Y! TV: Gym denies Gabrielle Douglas's racism claims
• Y! Games: Hard-hitting new Madden is the best in years
• Sports for the 1 percent: More than just golf
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NHL players want posted list of divers, embellishers in every arena

23 Aug
2012

It's like a wall of shame at local supermarkets, gas stations and liquor stores: a collection of bad checks and occasional mug shots near the cash register, alerting clerks not to fall for these charlatans again. (Especially when they use a $100 bill to pay for an $8 ice cream cake.)

The NHL has it own problem with counterfeiters: Divers and embellishers, drawing penalties with egregious overacting as on-ice officials remain trigger-shy in calling them out on it.

So at the NHL's rules summit in Toronto with NHL VP Colin Campbell, some players suggested a similar form of public shaming. Via Dan Rosen of NHL.com:

The players in the session, including Ottawa Senators center Jason Spezza, Vancouver Canucks defenseman Kevin Bieksa and Toronto Maple Leafs defenseman John-Michael Liles, led an impassioned discussion on enforcing the diving/embellishment rule (Rule 64.1), Campbell told NHL.com. He said the players want to distribute a list of divers around the League so it can be posted in all 30 dressing rooms and be delivered to the on-ice officials.

"They want to get [the list] out there," Campbell said. "They want the player to be caught, whether it's on the ice by the referee or by us on video. They are all tired of diving. The object is to make them stop eventually and, by doing that, they can get it out there around the League, embarrass them. The referees will know it, too, so the divers don't get the benefit of the doubt."

A few general reactions to this idea, with varying degrees of incredulity.

1. The players I've spoken to about diving swear on a stack of bibles (i.e. copies of Ken Dryden's "The Game") that they don't dive. Neither do their teammates. It's the other guys that do, of course. So it would be a hoot to see a document hanging in the dressing room that chronicles the habitual divers in that room. If only to see the new levels of creative vandalism that would be reached in that document's honor.

2. How does one get on the list? Who determines it? NHL referees that refuse to call diving? The NHL's rules enforcement execs that don't fine divers? The NHL players that won't narc on their own teammates?

3. How does one get off the list? A full season staying on his skates? Sworn testimony from opposing players? Is it like the No-Fly List where it takes an ACLU lawsuit to get your name removed?

4. Are we to believe that there isn't a list of divers and embellishers passed around from official to official, if not on paper than through some tribal referee folklore? We're two years removed from learning that Campbell himself would label players (or just Marc Savard) as a "little fake artist" to the head of NHL officiating. Does there need to be a stone tablet chiseled with Mike Ribeiro's name in order for referees not to give him "the benefit of the doubt?"

5. "Ah," you say, "but it's more about public shaming than the education of NHL officials." At the risk of turning this part of the post into a confusing outline for a college term paper, here are a few ways to publicly shame NHL players for diving and embellishment:

a. Calling a penalty for diving that negates a power play.

b. Altering the rules so that a dive negates the original penalty, thus putting the diver's team in a shorthanded situation.

c. Revamping the NHL.com stats pages to break down player infractions by type of penalty, so that "unsportsmanlike conduct — diving" can be better quantified.

d. Fining or suspending a player that dives habitually so they'll, like, stop doing it.

e. Developing Department of Player Safety-esque videos that shame the divers with lowlights of their embellishments. May we suggest "Hockey Night in Canada" host Ron MacLean? (Ask Alex Burrows).

6. Make embellishers play in full SCUBA gear. Yes, including the flippers.

As we mentioned on Wednesday, we're all for going after embellishment — especially the stick-and-glove-tossing nonsense that's happening on every love tap. We're also in favor of the NHL calling out these players for their embellishment.

So as Phoenix Coyotes Coach Dave Tippett said, it's nice to see the players enthusiastic about cracking down on diving — even if, at the end of the day, it'll take more than landing on Santa's Naughty List to change behavior.

Tags: benefit, Colin Campbell, , embellishers, embellishment, , , , ,
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