Create-a-Caption: Jayson Werth’s landing

12 Oct
2012

Should the Washington Nationals go on to win the World Series, we might be looking at the iconic image of the 2012 postseason. As it is, it's already leading the overall album. Rob Carr's great shot for Getty Images already made the front page of the Washington Post, has inspired some great photoshops and probably serves as the screensaver in just a few D.C. offices.

So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?

Follow the jump for winners from our last C-a-C featuring A-Rod's best efforts to improve:

A-Rod conditions his bat

1st — Denis. "1 for 9 ... yeah, I should probably get used to this equipment manager gig."

2nd — Bubb Rubb. "Eat your heart out George Brett."

3rd — Paul C. "A few more ounces of pine tar and this bat will officially weigh more than my postseason averages."

HM — AndrewScott48. "A-Rod having fun at Arts and Crafts Day in Baltimore."

Make sure all your bases are covered this postseason ...
Follow @bigleaguestew, @KevinKaduk and the BLS Facebook page!

Tags: album, Bubb Rubb, , , Getty, , , , , Werth
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Create-a-Caption: Cool Steveshake, Lakers point guards

11 Oct
2012

I think it's good that Steve Nash and Steve Blake are really embracing this whole "we are guys named Steve who play the same position for the Los Angeles Lakers" thing. Genuine enthusiasm about shared life experience is great, so go ahead and Steve it up, I say. One thing, though: While I get the tractor beam-style slow approach of the flat hands, I'm not so sure about the way they "dock" and just stay together, motionless, for two to three minutes at a time. Kind of seems like you're overcommitting to the bit.

Plus, the refs really want to resume play, and that's not going to happen until one of you "disengages" and officially checks in while the other officially checks out. Maybe instead, you could just give it a good ol' slide and make them Steveships passing in the night. Just an idea. Either way, don't stop rockin' in the Steve world.

Best caption wins a performance of a song I like by Steve, the original dude from "Blue's Clues." It features the involvement of several dudes affiliated with the Flaming Lips, and scarcely any cartoon dogs (not provided by Lips affiliates, at least). Good luck.

In our last adventure, which took place a couple of weeks back: MarShon Brooks is sent to the back of the line.

Winner, Larry B: MarShon Brooks: "I got your back now, little man. Which one is The Gooch?"

Runner-up, Meowmeowmeow: "Hmm, what's Deron doing over there with all that popcorn?"

Second runner-up, Ball15life: MarShon Brooks is not as eager as the other kids when he finds out the special NBA guest will be Kris Humphries.

Tags: , , enthusiasm, MarShon, , ,
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Create-a-Caption: Cool Steveshake, Lakers point guards

11 Oct
2012

I think it's good that Steve Nash and Steve Blake are really embracing this whole "we are guys named Steve who play the same position for the Los Angeles Lakers" thing. Genuine enthusiasm about shared life experience is great, so go ahead and Steve it up, I say. One thing, though: While I get the tractor beam-style slow approach of the flat hands, I'm not so sure about the way they "dock" and just stay together, motionless, for two to three minutes at a time. Kind of seems like you're overcommitting to the bit.

Plus, the refs really want to resume play, and that's not going to happen until one of you "disengages" and officially checks in while the other officially checks out. Maybe instead, you could just give it a good ol' slide and make them Steveships passing in the night. Just an idea. Either way, don't stop rockin' in the Steve world.

Best caption wins a performance of a song I like by Steve, the original dude from "Blue's Clues." It features the involvement of several dudes affiliated with the Flaming Lips, and scarcely any cartoon dogs (not provided by Lips affiliates, at least). Good luck.

In our last adventure, which took place a couple of weeks back: MarShon Brooks is sent to the back of the line.

Winner, Larry B: MarShon Brooks: "I got your back now, little man. Which one is The Gooch?"

Runner-up, Meowmeowmeow: "Hmm, what's Deron doing over there with all that popcorn?"

Second runner-up, Ball15life: MarShon Brooks is not as eager as the other kids when he finds out the special NBA guest will be Kris Humphries.

Tags: , , enthusiasm, MarShon, , ,
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Create-a-Caption: A-Rod conditions his bat

09 Oct
2012

For the time, it would appear that Alex Rodriguez's annual foray into the world of October controversy is being limited to a discussion of whether or not Robinson Cano should take his third spot in the New York Yankees lineup. The overwhelming opinion? Yes, Cano should.

But should the Yankees lose in Wednesday's ALDS Game 3, A-Rod might be in prime position for another scapegoating, no matter whether he deserves it or not. Through two games with Baltimore, A-Rod is hitting 1 for 9 with five strikeouts and has been a rally killer atop the lineup. That's just not going to cut it, especially in a town that's already well practiced with getting on his case during the postseason.

So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?

Follow the jump for winners from our last C-a-C featuring the illusion of a sucker punch:

Sucker punch at home plate

1st — Michael. "I said NO Tebowing!!"

2nd — Mattingly's Mullet. "This brings new meaning to being 'punched out' by the umpire."

3rd — Wu-Pang. "MLB umpires won't be intimidated like NFL replacement refs."

HM — John C. "And now....you're REALLY out"

Make sure all your bases are covered this postseason ...
Follow @bigleaguestew, @KevinKaduk and the BLS Facebook page!

Tags: , , , , discussion, , , , punch, , sucker punch
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Create-a-Caption: MarShon Brooks is thrown a ‘size order’ curveball

24 Sep
2012

No, MarShon Brooks, we know that normally you line up in the back because you're the tallest kid. But right now, we need you to line up in the front. It's reverse size order. ... Why are we doing it? Because it's the start of the school year, and we need to both shake things up and make sure you know that we can just kind of make you do stuff, because we're teachers. SURPRISE! POP QUIZ! No, just kidding. You're outside. That'd be really weird to do. But we still technically could. See what I'm saying?

For real, though, please unhand Phillip. Then, move to the front of the line. Thanks, MarShon!

Best caption wins a Nets-themed piggy bank in which to store your lunch money (not really). Good luck.

In our last adventure: Antonio Daniels can't get enough of those Thundersticks, which is a sentence that would work really well if you sang it to the tune of the old "Golden Crisp" jingle.

Winner, Kingmike88: "Man, this reminds me of when I played in Vancouver. Up there, they roll them so big ..."

Runner-up, Larry B: Antonio Daniels is amused and enlightened by the age-old Zen riddle: "What is the sound of one Thunderstick clapping?"

Second runner-up, JonathanH: Antonio Daniels really misses those cheesesteaks.

Tags: back, , , MarShon, , reverse, shake
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Create-a-Caption: Colby Rasmus pays the price

24 Sep
2012

Yeah Blue Jays, magnets! And though this pictured predicament suggests otherwise, Toronto center fielder Colby Rasmus actually made a great catch during Sunday's game against Tampa Bay before his momentum opened the Tropicana Field wall.

So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?

Follow the jump for winners from our last C-a-C featuring Joe Nathan as a Dallas Cowboy:

Joe Nathan as Tony Romo

1st — Combat! Bachelor number three dreams of becoming a cowboy.

2nd — VC. This is nothing. Wait until the guy gets a steal sign and runs a post pattern towards the foul pole.

3rd — BaseballFuries. "What happened to Brandon McCarthy was horrific, but don't you think you're going a little bit overboard?"

HM — DI. "Hummm...football player...better than the last dream....buck naked."

Want more baseball fun all season long?
Follow @bigleaguestew, @KevinKaduk and the BLS Facebook page!

Tags: , , Colby Rasmus, , , Joe Nathan, , momentum, , Tropicana, Yeah Blue Jays
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Create-a-Caption: John Starks is a very jovial businessman

13 Sep
2012

Yes, John Starks was a fiery and emotional defender during his years with the New York Knicks, but those jagged edges have long since been beveled off by the world of big business. Buying, selling, trading, making deals, cashing checks — Starks loves all of it. Especially when you're not trying to bust his chops when he calls you. C'mon, Steve. Don't bust his chops here. He thought you had a deal, and now you're over here, trying to bust his chops here? C'mon Steve.

Best caption wins what John Starks says right after someone tries to bust his chops. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Charles Barkley thinks Cheryl Miller is the funniest person he has ever met in his life. In a related story, the peyote juuuust kicked in.

Winner, Jarron: Charles laughs as Cheryl tells him about the time Reggie said he could've made the Dream Team.

Runner-up, Jerry Wu: Cheryl Miller: "Did you hear? Reggie is the third-best shooting guard ever."

Second runner-up, Larry B.: Cheryl Miller: "And when he was 12 years old, I beat Reggie one-on-one for the 500th straight time — that was when he had to get 'Property of Cheryl M' tattooed on his backside."

Tags: bust, , , , , , John Starks, luck, , person, Starks,
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I've been trying to figure out what had Charles Barkley so summarily tickled following Reggie Miller's speech after being inducted into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, Mass., on Friday, and I think I've narrowed it down to three options:

1. While hugging Reggie, Magic Johnson farted;

2. Cheryl Miller is doing her impression of Cesar Romero as the Joker, which has been Charles' favorite since he was a li'l bitty Round Mound of Rebound;

3. He finds the amount of angst and frustration I still feel at what Reggie did to the Knicks absolutely hilarious.

Hard to say, really. (I'm leaning toward No. 1.)

But maybe I'm missing something. What do you think has Mr. Barkley guffawing so? Best caption wins another reasonable option — Paul Rudd's clean-up scene from "Wet Hot American Summer." Good luck.

In our last adventure: New York Knicks head coach Mike Woodson thinks this is the weirdest ballet he's ever seen.

Winner, Larry B: Mrs. Woodson: "Honey, you have to try new things, broaden your horizons."

Mike Woodson: "Yeah, high-maintenance, self-centered, multimillion-dollar prima donnas — I never would have experienced such a phenomenon if we didn't come to this fashion show. It's a totally different world from where I work."

Runner-up, Russell S: Mike Woodson is definitely the Miranda of the group.

Second runner-up, Mad D: "Hi, I'm Mike Woodson — oh, my seats are way back there? Let me try this again. I'm Suge Knight and I'll be sitting up front tonight."

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Create-a-Caption: John Wall is full of regret

04 Sep
2012

"I mean ... I know I said I played too many charity games last summer, but still, they asked Damien Wilkins to play in the LudaDay Weekend game and not me? I could have done fun dunks and dribbles, and been laughing and having fun with one of the stars of 'Fast Five.' But now ... nothing.

"I mean, Damien Wilkins?" — John Wall, despondent.

Best caption wins the kind of cheer-up that only "shutting up" a high school kid can bring. Good luck.

In our last adventure: NBA commissioner David Stern is simply gobsmacked.

Winner, MikeE: That awkward moment when you realize it's not just gas.

Runner-up, Grisam S: "Wait, how'd you know what teams are gonna be in the Finals next year? Only I know that!"

NOTE: Ah, yes. Nothing more fun that loving a league where people are pretty convinced everything is rigged.

Second runner-up, Shoalb S: David Stern reacts after being informed that Billy Hunter just tweeted the locations of the alleged "buried bodies."

Tags: , , Damien Wilkins, David Stern, despondent, John Wall, luck, LudaDay, , weekend, Weekend game
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Create-a-Caption: ‘J.R. Smith tweeted *what?*’

31 Aug
2012

Hahaha, just kiddin' around, Mr. Commissioner. Everything's all safe and secure on the Information Superhighway. Nothing for you to get all embarrassed or flustered about in front of your new best friend, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, with whom you and other major sports commissioners are working on an expanded "If You See Something, Say Something" campaign. But it's great to know that, like fans of the New York Knicks (and any other team for whom he has played), the mere invocation of J.R. Smith's name can cause your face to do that.

Then again, maybe it's not J.R. that's given David Stern a case of the oh-craps. What do you think it is? Best caption wins a lifetime supply of droll, wry barbs and mean-spirited, kidding-on-the-square things said to Bill Simmons on yearly podcasts. Good luck.

In our last adventure: For the record, Jeremy Lin didn't include the amount of time he spent thinking about getting the lines shaved into the side of his head, because he spent no time thinking about that.

Winner, Shoalb S: Jeremy Lin peeks over at James Dolan's card, which reads:

Hanging with The Straight Shot: 6 hrs

Chatting on Skype with Isiah Thomas: 6 hrs

Destroying the New York Knicks: Always

Runner-up, AdamB: Maybe this is the Rockets' answer to "Book It!" and Jeremy got a personal pan pizza after he was done.

NOTE: Using pizza to incentivize personal improvement is total Moreyball strategy. Once again, ahead of the curve, Houston.

Second runner-up (TIE!), GOAL: Counting and sleeping with my $25 million from Houston — 15.5 hours per day.

Second runner-up (TIE!), Larry B.: The flip side of the card says, "Carmelo Anthony can only take OFFENSE at my $25 million dollar contract because he can't play DEFENSE."

NOTE: Cue the gale-force gust created by all the "oooooooooooooohs" from the studio audience!

Tags: , , , Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, Information Superhighway, , J.R. Smith tweeted, , , , Superhighway, ,
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