Barkley thinks LeBron can be better than Jordan (Yahoo! Sports)

04 Oct
2012

Miami Heat forward LeBron James speaks during an interview after NBA basketball training camp, Tuesday, Oct. 2, 2012 in Miami. (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

NEW YORK (AP) -- Charles Barkley thinks LeBron James can be better than Michael Jordan.


Tags: Better, Can, , , , , michael jordan, , , Than,
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Barkley thinks LeBron can be better than Jordan (Yahoo! Sports)

04 Oct
2012

Miami Heat forward LeBron James speaks during an interview after NBA basketball training camp, Tuesday, Oct. 2, 2012 in Miami. (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

NEW YORK (AP) -- Charles Barkley thinks LeBron James can be better than Michael Jordan.


Tags: Better, Can, , , , , michael jordan, , , Than,
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Create-a-Caption: John Starks is a very jovial businessman

13 Sep
2012

Yes, John Starks was a fiery and emotional defender during his years with the New York Knicks, but those jagged edges have long since been beveled off by the world of big business. Buying, selling, trading, making deals, cashing checks — Starks loves all of it. Especially when you're not trying to bust his chops when he calls you. C'mon, Steve. Don't bust his chops here. He thought you had a deal, and now you're over here, trying to bust his chops here? C'mon Steve.

Best caption wins what John Starks says right after someone tries to bust his chops. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Charles Barkley thinks Cheryl Miller is the funniest person he has ever met in his life. In a related story, the peyote juuuust kicked in.

Winner, Jarron: Charles laughs as Cheryl tells him about the time Reggie said he could've made the Dream Team.

Runner-up, Jerry Wu: Cheryl Miller: "Did you hear? Reggie is the third-best shooting guard ever."

Second runner-up, Larry B.: Cheryl Miller: "And when he was 12 years old, I beat Reggie one-on-one for the 500th straight time — that was when he had to get 'Property of Cheryl M' tattooed on his backside."

Tags: bust, , , , , , John Starks, luck, , person, Starks,
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I've been trying to figure out what had Charles Barkley so summarily tickled following Reggie Miller's speech after being inducted into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, Mass., on Friday, and I think I've narrowed it down to three options:

1. While hugging Reggie, Magic Johnson farted;

2. Cheryl Miller is doing her impression of Cesar Romero as the Joker, which has been Charles' favorite since he was a li'l bitty Round Mound of Rebound;

3. He finds the amount of angst and frustration I still feel at what Reggie did to the Knicks absolutely hilarious.

Hard to say, really. (I'm leaning toward No. 1.)

But maybe I'm missing something. What do you think has Mr. Barkley guffawing so? Best caption wins another reasonable option — Paul Rudd's clean-up scene from "Wet Hot American Summer." Good luck.

In our last adventure: New York Knicks head coach Mike Woodson thinks this is the weirdest ballet he's ever seen.

Winner, Larry B: Mrs. Woodson: "Honey, you have to try new things, broaden your horizons."

Mike Woodson: "Yeah, high-maintenance, self-centered, multimillion-dollar prima donnas — I never would have experienced such a phenomenon if we didn't come to this fashion show. It's a totally different world from where I work."

Runner-up, Russell S: Mike Woodson is definitely the Miranda of the group.

Second runner-up, Mad D: "Hi, I'm Mike Woodson — oh, my seats are way back there? Let me try this again. I'm Suge Knight and I'll be sitting up front tonight."

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Tour Report: Phelps next on ‘The Haney Project’ (PGA Tour)

11 Aug
2012
ORLANDO, Fla. — Michael Phelps, the decorated American swimmer who has won more Olympic medals than anyone in history, will be the next student on Golf Channel’s "The Haney Project." The fifth season of the series will begin production next month. Charles Barkley, comedian Ray Romano and Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine are among others [...]
Tags: , , frontman, Haney, Haney Project, Michael Phelps, Olympic medals, , , , production, ,
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Create-a-Caption: BIG AMERICAN (and Spanish) PARTY!

25 Jul
2012

Everybody's disco dancing! Lots of fun, good times for all! I am having very good time! Robot dancing? Oh, no, wait, that's just Pau Gasol. Sorry. (You can understand the mistake, though, yes?)

Seriously: International exhibitions that end with 22-point decisions and giant explosions of confetti following the final whistle seem like just about the best (if most surprisingly ridiculous) kind of exhibitions there can be. Great job, Spain!

Best caption wins Kool AND the Gang, for the price of just Kool! You can't beat that with a wiffle-ball bat! Good luck.

In our last adventure: INTO THE PAST! Charles Barkley sees a future Argentinian superstar in the bald spot of one unassuming NBA referee.

Winner, The Devil: "Property of David Stern, All Rights Reserved."

Runner-up, Joel: "'$50 per shady call in your favor. $150 for an ejection of an opponent (my choice). $500 for me to throw the game.' ... Dang! I didn't know these guys came with instructions."

Second runner-up, Larry B: A "friendly" reminder tattooed on the back of the referee's head: "Bulls in 6."

Tags: , , , , dancing, Everybody's disco dancing, International exhibitions, Larry B:, mistake, , , Robot
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C-a-C Past Lives: Charles Barkley reads between the lines

24 Jul
2012

Gotta get back in time ... Welcome back, friends, to Create-a-Caption Past Lives. Not entirely sure what exactly we're doing here? Take a look at our maiden voyage to get your sea legs under you.

"No one will be able to tell it's not real," the salesman said. But the salesman didn't know you'd be standing in front of a guy six inches taller than you who was able to read ... wait, is that a warning label? Why does it say "Caution: This is not a safety protective device" AND "Do not use near fire, flame or sparks" on it?

You need to get that thing off your head pronto, stripes. And maybe thank Sir Charles when you're done. Remember: Bald is beautiful.

Best caption wins the "definitive oracle" of the worst toupee in show business. Good luck.

In our last adventure: CP3 takes evasive action.

Winner, Mojo: Federico Kammerichs remains in serious but stable condition following last night's brutal crossover attack by Chris Paul.

Runner-up, Ben: FIBA is seriously considering a crackdown on "the hypotenuse," a new form of flopping that measures wingspan.

Second runner-up, Weston: Your dad tries real hard, but can't keep up with those youngsters from the U.S.

NOTE: Nice try, Weston, but we all know that there's just one "Your Dad" in these here Internets. However, because I enjoyed the work of the mid-'90s Pennsylvania rock outfit that shares your name, you win third prize. Congratulations: You are on the positive side of my capricious judging!

Tags: , , , Federico Kammerichs, Gotta, , , , one, Sir Charles
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Charles Barkley once tried to bribe Dirk Nowitzki to come to Auburn

02 Jul
2012

The first time Charles Barkley watched Dirk Nowitzki play, the 18-year-old future Dallas Mavericks star scorched a team of NBA stars during the Nike "Hoop Heroes Tour" in Germany in 1997.

As a result, Barkley made a recruiting push to sell the young German star on coming to Auburn.

Barkley shared that story over the weekend before Nowitzki's charity baseball game in Frisco, Texas. Some of Barkley's best lines will no doubt have Auburn compliance officers cringing, but they'll get a chuckle out of everyone else.

"Dirk is kicking our ass," Barkley said. "He's got like 25 at halftime, and me and Michael [Jordan] were like 'Scottie, you gotta pick it up a little bit.' He's mad. 'C'mon, lock him down in the second half, lock him down in the second half.' Dirk finished with like 52.

"So I call Nike and I said, 'Find out about this kid. Tell him I'll give him anything he wants to go to Auburn. Just tell him, anything he wants, we'll get it done.' ... In the SEC we make sure you're well taken care of. Everyone wants to give us a hard time about giving Cam Newton $200,000. That's called a good damn investment."

It's possible some of what Barkley said may be an exaggeration since storytellers like him can be prone to exaggeration. Still, there's  probably enough truth to the story to provide a window into what the recruitment of most elite prospects is like.

Barkley's efforts to encourage Nowitzki to attend Auburn were unsuccessful because the 7-foot forward caught the attention of NBA scouts with a 33-point, 14-rebound effort at the Nike Hoop Summit in 1998. As a result, he went straight to the NBA, bypassing offers from more than 30 U.S. colleges.

Had Nowitzki gone to college, the three he liked enough to visit were Kentucky, Cal and Stanford. He told Dan Patrick last year that he opted to go straight to the NBA because he feared a U.S. high school or college coach would attempt to transform him into a traditional big man.

"I figured once I go to high school they were going to make me a back-to-the-basket-type player, and that's really not what I wanted or where I saw my future," Nowitzki said. "I decided against it. Looking back now it was a smart decision, but back then it was pretty hard."

Tags: , , , dirk nowitzki, exaggeration, , , Nike, Nowitzki, , ,
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