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Home  MLB News  GNUru Special Features  Diagnosing Sexy Pick Syndrome (SPS)
Diagnosing Sexy Pick Syndrome (SPS)
Written by The GNUru   
Mar 06, 2007 at 02:00 AM

Due to overwhelming reader requests, the GNUru will attempt to identify those of you that are afflicted with Sexy Pick Syndrome (SPS). But before we delve into specifics, let’s first provide a clinical definition of SPS. Sexy Pick Syndrome is the condition by which a Fantasy Baseball managers skills become clouded by their desire to be respected and admired amongst their peers for their prognostication ability, regardless of the effect it may or may not have on your team. If you have drafted, touted, sung the praises of, or have sacrificed the success of your team in anyway to accommodate any of the following players, you may have SPS. Aaron Harang

  • Matt Cain
  • Garrett Atkins
  • Brian McCann
  • J.J. Putz
  • Ryan Zimmerman
  • Aaron Harang
  • Bronson Arroyo
  • Rocco Baldelli (Perennial SPS candidate)
  • Alex Rios
  • Micahel Cuddyer
  • Any over-hyped rookie who likely won’t produce for 2-3 years

 


If so you may be at risk or developing SPS. Additional symptoms of SPS may include:

  • Loss of interest in activities, such as hobbies, sports, games, or friends
  • Irritable bowel movements
  • Slowed or agitated body movements or restlessness
  • Anal leakage
  • Inappropriate feelings of guilt or worthlessness
  • Uncontrollable erections
  • Recurrent thoughts or talk of death or suicide
If these symptoms effectively describe you, please consult the GNUru immediately!

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